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| Saturday, July 31, 2004 |
| This movie reminds me of a distant memory... |
i am now suffering from nausea and a high fever. I walk around like a pseudo-paraplegic with parkinsons. my joints ache profusely and i have to sit or lie down every few minutes. I cannot stomach the thought of food...and yet i just woke up from a long nap with a dream that was set in an expansive grassy park in Iceland. It was someone's wedding and we were there as guests. And oddly enough i was making and drinking mango shakes from start to end. Funny isn't it? Might be induced by the medicine.
Just had a revelationary thought. maybe this physical dementia is just an offset for denying emotional sacrifices. And so goes the cliche that if you keep something inside for too long when it shouldn't be, it will still somehow find its way out. the past few days have been a surrender to this weakness.
Clementine: Joel, I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.
Mary: Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.
Clementine: You know me, I'm impulsive.
Joel: That's what i love about you.
Clementine: You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything, every damn, embarrassing thing.
Clementine: This is it, Joel. I'm going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.
Clementine: I wish you'd stayed.
Joel: I wish I'd stayed, too. NOW I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. I wish I'd... I wish I'd stayed... I do.
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posted by maldita @ 5:35 AM
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| Thursday, July 29, 2004 |
| fuck. |
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| posted by maldita @ 12:00 PM
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| Wednesday, July 28, 2004 |
| a special message from actors kal penn & john cho |
With a well-thought out letter...the movie better be good!
July 24, 2004
Dear Friends, Fans, Haters, Players, and True Money Makers,
Hey! This is Kal Penn (aka Kalpen Modi) and John Cho writing to encourage you to go see our upcoming comedy from New Line Cinema, "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle," opening nationwide on July 30th.
This film marks the first time a major studio is releasing a project with two Asian American males as the leads.
We don't have stereotypical accents, we don't passively tread through the story, we're not asexual or hypersexual, there are no martial arts scenes, one-dimensional cab driver segments.
We play a couple of all-American guys who happen to be of Indian and Korean descent. Our characters (Harold and Kumar) are post- collegiate buddies who get the munchies and end up going on the adventure of their lives as they set out to satisfy a spontaneous craving for White Castle burgers. Ebert and Roeper just gave our movie "Two Thumbs Up"! We hope you will too. Read on.
The opening weekend for any film is extremely important. Studio executives (the people who make big decisions about movies) track the numbers from that first weekend's ticket sales and make all kinds of decisions based on that data. They decide if they will add more screens to show a film, if they will spend more money in promoting it, if they will start investing in a sequel... but most importantly, they decide if elements of the film work and whether they should do it again.
In our case, that means they will be asking, "Will a strong script and story succeed or fail with 2 Asian American guys in non-stereotypical roles?". We personally think it will succeed, but we need your help! This film is our chance to prove that realistic, nonstereotypical depictions can make an audience have a blast, and take in enough money to make this happen in the future.
By buying a ticket to "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle", you aren't just gonna get to see a really funny movie with two dudes who look like you. Nope. You're also going to be saying to media outlets, "I support accurate representation of Asian Americans and would like to see more." You have the power to change things simply by buying a ticket to a film that we believe you'll have fun watching anyway!
Please go to the theaters on the weekend of July 30th, and watch "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle". We look at this awesome opportunity like we do voting in an election. Every movie ticket someone buys is a VOTE, and the cool part is, you're allowed to vote as many times as you want. With your support of the film, we will show decision-makers in Hollywood that supporting movies like these is not only the right thing to do, but is also good business. We'll also show YOU what it's like to ride a cheetah, hang glide off a cliff, pick up a hitchhiking Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser), tell off a bunch of ignorant punks, get love interests, and sing Wilson Phillips at the top of our lungs.
So just hold on for one more... week, and check out the website at www.HaroldandKumar.com. This film opens the weekend of July 30th! Send this email to all of your friends. Throw parties. Order food. Make a night (or weekend) out of it and go see "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle"!
This is a landmark opportunity for the Asian American community, and we are proud to be the faces involved.
With your support and the success of this film, we hope that it's only the beginning of many more Asian Americans on screen...
Enjoy the movie,
Kal Penn and John Cho
"Kumar" and "Harold"
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| posted by maldita @ 8:57 PM
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| mindful - not 'meldific - men |
I have given up on my jewel cases. Goodbye clear plastic cubes that only amount to a lot of dust and the need for wooden storage towers. And even with all these space-saving Martha Stuart measures, I still have so much junk! Aaargh!
So tonight I watched Imelda with Victor and Frances in Rockwell. All I can say is, it was entertaining but not as much as Fahrenheit 9/11 that got me continuously rolling and aghast like a lunatic on both Ritalin and speed. I enjoyed the peek into her contemporary lavishness. Especially her depiction of Seven-Pillars-of-Something that she calculated into ten. Hmmm. Again another rationale for an improvement of our education system. At one time an AIM classmate proposed that ALL politicians should send their children to public schools. Wouldn’t that be a dream? Expect better infrastructure, instruction and cafeteria food.
I am still exhausted from Tuesday night. But it was worth it. The minute I saw debbie, cris and me all decked out for the night, I figured we’d have a blast. And will reiterate how proud I am that Frances stayed out on a work night! Woohoo! Congratulations to Atz and all the other guys of UNO magazine for a worthwhile social event to perk the midweek doldrums. Even if you ran out of drinks before the pumpkin dropped. Even got to bump into two darling dolls – Denise and Cecile - Surprise, surprise! will see each of you again soon, fer sure.
I will also give snaps to the men who got dressed up for the occasion. My favorite outfit viewed was the suit. Or sport coat over vintage t-shirts. Sneakers or shine, the shoes would also complement the man’s mood. It was such a reprieve from the tight, open-till-down-there-its-disgusting style of the past year. To those who showed up in your office barong tagalogs, shame on you. You could have donned something more appropriate unless of course you just decided at the last minute to crash the party. Then again I know a few guy friends who did just that and they were still impeccably clad. You know who you are! Wink.
So do I go to the Black Seven party tonight or not? Do I have the strength or should I just curl up and get my work (aka. jobhunt/read my book/surf net/music meditation) done? I recoil at sight of Friday to Sunday line up in my planner. Oh dear. But I could still change my mind at the last minute – and will surely not show up in a barong. Bwahaha! Cornball comment.
Oh before I forget. Have to post the best line I’ve ever heard in ages. This came from Randy who’s here in Manila visiting from San Francisco: A brown booty is a thing of beauty. Ah yeah baby! Think the killah-pina will agree! I’m sure he’s getting tons of that in Boracay as we speak. |
| posted by maldita @ 8:00 AM
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| Walking Wounded |
Blades of grass that shiver as I pass
The world's asleep but I'm awake
I'm walking home home again
Morning stars. Left my shoes back at the bar
Didn't know my house was quite so far, so far from anywhere
Strange how the ground seems up-side down
And morning - it starts without me
Did I let you down? Should I come around?
Would that make things better baby?
You and I, we get along just fine
But oh, we both want to be right
It's just not possible
Change your mind or maybe I'll change mine
But either way we won't arrive at something plausible
I'll see you 'round when you're in town
And you can pretend to hate me
All trace of love has turned to dust
Which I've been collecting lately.
- "Heal" by Bic Runga |
| posted by maldita @ 12:45 AM
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| Monday, July 26, 2004 |
| delighful day |
came across this entry from my archives...so good intuition about jobs huh? well where is it?! haha just kidding. I am patient and kind. said the mad hatter.
But going back to my title. had a very nice day full of friends today. Actually worth missing Queer Eye For The Straight Guy - LOVE THAT SHOW!
So woke up around 7am to go to LTO Makati which apparently had "technical difficulties" which basically means either they got a virus or the guy on the computer hasn't come to work. So had to trot down to Mandaluyong to get my stuff done. Got a bit of driving before lunch - woopee! - then a short little catnap.
Met up with Ramon in Music One Greenbelt where I was looking for a CD case but apparently O has a more reasonably priced selection of goodies. I had already bumped into Gail at Adidas Store and Dotty + Alex walking around. So anyway, on to Figaro where we met up with Neva. Later Martin joined us, plus Gino and Tina. All three had a Super! party at MyCinema. Got a few more errands done before actually following them where i had a nice chat session with both new and old friends/acquaintances. Couldn't do that for too long though...so trotted down to AIM where I saw Marco, Joao, Stephen (mah boys!) and Chris of course. After several sticks, a beer and balot (for the foreigners, not me) later...had dinner and a drink with "the man who (probably) knows me best".
Damn! don't think i've ever put that many URL links in one blog entry before! phew. that was fun. but that didn't even sound like a blog entry but more like a post-it note for my daily planner. |
| posted by maldita @ 9:32 AM
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| Sunday, July 25, 2004 |
| i am SO ready to move out |
so my mom has a violent reaction to the name I gave the site i put up to just post about events happening around Manila.
I innocently called it Malikot which to me means moving around a lot...put apparently to her it means promiscuous...i realy don't agree but what the hell. I'm not going to go into some screaming match about it. Almost did.
Don't even know why i bother. I just wanted to tell her so that she would have another place to publicize her art exhibits and i get a friggin lecture. Woooozaaaaa.
Ok ok, i know she means well. and i love her anyway. hehe.
So what name do you guys suggest I give it?
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| posted by maldita @ 9:04 PM
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| Saturday, July 24, 2004 |
| Rivermaya impromptu @ Capones |
Lucky us.
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| posted by maldita @ 1:26 AM
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| Thursday, July 22, 2004 |
| Tsk tsk... |
Opinions on Imelda:
J says it wasn't so great
M says I should definitely watch it
Hmmm...still the 300 peso ticket seems like a journey back into the era of corruption.
So who else thinks that the 20-day ban to screen the movie was a public relations effort? please raise their hand. Aye!
But then again, i'll still watch. If only to make my own judgment.
Hmm maybe I should ask da Gov to go with me...
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| posted by maldita @ 1:19 PM
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| Maybe the absence of signs is a sign |
quote by Jonathan Trager (Serendipity)
I snivel at the thought of having so many signs in the past few months but not the final one I needed. So I made that call to get my ticket changed and flew back to Manila. If perception is relative then how do I know I haven’t been looking at these signs all wrong? Or I could be guilty of the persistent female sin of overanalysis. I want to buy the book “Love and Other Demons” but apparently the five hundred peso price tag is just too much for my limited purse strings at the moment. So is love really a demon that haunts you with a new face each time (see previous entry on Ethan Hawke analysis) or is it something rare and opportune like Love in the Time of Cholera? Maybe this fortuitous match I’ve yearned for so long is as elusive as that book considered the greatest love story of all time. Is it a sign of something that whenever I am on the brink of breaking down, the sky shares the same sentiment and Manila is downtrodden with the bursting of clouds?
took this shot while walking around greenbelt...
I think many can relate to this unbelievably huge lump that keeps you from breathing when you are sad. I feel like it is gripping my palpitating pound of flow until I realize that it IS my heart. And just like the incurable Mitral Valve Prolapse I’ve been afflicted with for the past ten years - I still hope that if I ignore it, it will go away. This thought process is a vast improvement from when I wrote my first and last short story where I regarded love to be my death as toxic as the smoke inhaled through my lungs each day. I now remain good friends with the man who inspired that story which brought tears to all those privileged to have read it. So much can happen in a few years.
My thanks to all the men who have called me baby and taught me a little more about life.
I kinda thought I was Dandel who has to let go and contemplate on significance or the lack of it…
but now I have only two words – “doot-doot!” |
| posted by maldita @ 1:16 PM
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| horoscope advice... |
It's time to get by with a little help from your friends. Usually, you like to be self-sufficient, but in this instance their support will make all the difference. Don't be afraid to ask for a helping hand -- after all, you're always helping out others. With some time free, now you're able to focus on the finer details of something that's been worrying you. What a relief!
It's time to draw back, retreat and spend some quality time alone with yourself. In the meantime, put the brakes on any personal matter you're not sure about.
The real question is: Are the people you work for important to you? A career crisis may be bubbling, and it'd be wise for you to confront it head on. Maybe spend the next few days planning a new path for yourself. It is not always going to be easy to make such a dramatic change, but it will most likely be worth it. |
| posted by maldita @ 4:06 AM
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| Wednesday, July 21, 2004 |
| I guess i fucked up. |
Guess it wasn't meant for me. But i feel sick about it right now.
Thought yesterday was bad, now i feel even worse.
I should have just stayed in SF and attended this. |
| posted by maldita @ 7:51 PM
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| Monday, July 19, 2004 |
| i miss you. |
Remember the movie Orange County? Shaun (Colin Hanks) is speaking to the writer Marcus Skinner (Kevin Kline) about wanting to go to Stanford (i got to see it!) to be a good writer. But it is actually the conflict he feels while living in OC that brings his words to life. So he should stay there.Very nice rationale. Of course there are also other issues in the movie but that's another story.
It just helped me figure out why i didn't/couldn't write in San Francisco...because there WAS no conflict. But I never said i wanted to be a writer anyway. I still got to take some beautiful pictures of seemingly mundane scenes, I got to create some artworks, i met so many interesting people, and found my place within the bustle. If you look at the number of blog entries i've put into since i got back to manila and you'll see my point. I want to go back so badly.
Every channel i flicked through yesterday was belting the city back into my face. Orange County had some scenes in Stanford...Charmed was set in SF (saw a shot of Haight St. and some of the Mission District) and it has been prevalent in my dreams. Whether I like it or not. Mom mentioned that Dad wants us to go to Vancouver this holiday season. We're still trying to convince him of focusing more down south than that.
Did this entry make sense? i don't think so. my writing sucks lately. Limbo rock.
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| posted by maldita @ 8:27 PM
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Can someone get me either of these for my birthday? darn. it's still several months away.
 
So why do i always get smitten by the Chunky Rice of this parallel universe? ironically i guess i am Dandel, i squeak and whine like a mouse indeed.
I want a vanilla vodka seven STAT! |
| posted by maldita @ 1:28 AM
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just when i thought i could never find a man to reach my standard of HOT or CUTE or GOOD LOOKING again (im surrounded by the smart and insightful ones now)...met one today. Can't even remember his name! but as my supposed type goes - the long hair, the glasses, the quiet/shy demeanor. melt melt melt. what can i say? the so-geeky-he's-cool man is what i find irresistibly attractive! hehe...
but do i do anything? nah.
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| posted by maldita @ 12:36 AM
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| when it rains it pours |
just when you feel like you're at your immensely lost/directionless state - all the good stuff comes pouring in! I guess they come in droves. On my way to my interview this morning (dream job baby!) i got a call for another headhunter. And just now got another call from a company that requested for an interview tomorrow morning. phew! it's actually nice to wear suits again. got my nice, reliable black pumps although since i lost a bit of weight, all my pants have been hanging lower than usual and tripped twice today. but no one saw that right? hehe.
i will be the happiest bunny on earth when i finally have an office to call mine. I know this probably sounds trivial but the little things about having a job are what i adore. the desk, the chair, the computer, the phone...and all my life i've been in cubicles so those soft walls are actually not conflicting for me. It's like my own little private space. Hey i better love it since i usually stay in the office late right? and i'm sure with the potentially new job with bigger responsibilities, i will most definitely be burning the midnight oil.
cheers to having a reason to wake up every morning and ending the day feeling productive. Now if i can only find THAT JOB!!!hehe ;) |
| posted by maldita @ 12:18 AM
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| Sunday, July 18, 2004 |
| optimist or pessimist? |
just when there's something important to wake up for tomorrow, I can't sleep!!!
So now i've surrendered myself to reruns of Sex and the City on HBO.
Quote Carrie (for several of my girl friends out there):
maybe you have to let go of the your past to make room for the new.
aaaaaaaaaand time for a cigarette while i skim through some material for my meeting tomorrow.
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| posted by maldita @ 10:59 AM
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| My Blogging Degree |
The University of Blogging
Presents to
malditamargie
An Honorary
Bachelor of
Emo
Majoring in
Psychotic Ranting
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| posted by maldita @ 8:31 AM
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| I would like for you to be still… |
Several reunions with various friends and to recount all my stories are just too tiring. They have read my blog, seen my pictures and yet still clamor for more recollections. With just one statement – I am happy – they surrender. It really is just that simple. “As long as your happy” they say. No amount of rationalizing explanations needed. Their love is simply rooted in that declaration. And they are genuinely happy for me.
I now find fancy in simpler details. Over dinner tonight someone recounted his experience of bungee jumping in New Zealand with excitement. And I noticed a more sincere enjoyment in strangers and their stories. Like the man in the sidewalk who asked me if I was either a dark child or a light grown-up. Save for the sonofabitch stalker I had a few weeks ago, unexpected encounters are a welcome recluse from the weight of the world.
Frances was right. I would have learned something more about myself on my escapist jaunt. I stay home tonight on a Saturday with an effortless appreciation of my own turtle shell.
Have you ever heard of Milarepa? An 11th century Tibetan Saint who could accomplish just about anything. Except for the dragon living inside his cave that he had to encounter at the end of each day. He suffered with this demon until he finally stopped trying to control it and just succumb to its fury. And then it disappeared. It’s like feeling the ache then crying uncontrollably but you always find yourself stopping to rest then shift to another point of reference.
Say hello to the fiend the way you occasionally listen to the blues. Then say your goodbyes and be on your way. It is a reminder that we are human and we feel.
You lose it. Just to find it and as you walk right by it
You forget how you got there and why you never meant to stay
And I won't watch you waste away and I won't fake another day
And I can't watch you waste away and I won't beg you still to stay
And if one truth leads you to five,
I still don't believe in your reasons why
I just don't believe in why
I couldn't watch you walk away and not forget it
I couldn't watch you turn to stone and just regret a single day.
Not a single day
If I lose you. Could you find me? Or would you walk right by me?
The soul and the spirit each have got their own limit
And I can't waste another second living in hell like it's some kind of heaven
And if one truth leads to another then isn't there one I can uncover?
But there isn't one that I will not discover
It's the right time. It's my time. It's my turn to discover.
- "Feel to Believe" sung by Beth Orton
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| posted by maldita @ 12:00 AM
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| Friday, July 16, 2004 |
| faith, friends & "the heart remains a child" |
Amazing. I wake up around noon today to the tune of my sms beeping madly. Where did my good habit go? the whole sleeping and waking up early? well, it IS the weekend so i'm allowed to have some slip ups. But this monday is a very important day for me, hoping for something that will lead to my short-term goals. So many people have told me they believe in me and that is such a great driving force. It is like a constant reminder that I have worked hard for so long to get to where I am and surprisingly they have recognized this - even without the need for personal press releases and self-gratuitous rants.
Owww. need my coffee. Isn't it stupid that no matter how little i drink the night before my head still hurts like a sadomasochistic mortar? I only had three damn drinks last night! I liked the crowd in capones last night though. Not the usual people. Even saw old friends from the sixth grade and high school! and i couldn't help but gasp at how their lives have taken so many turns. Sadrina, so sorry you couldn't go! don't worry - we'll be planning for more get-togethers since Chancy will be leaving for Canada very soon. waaaaah!
I'm also so happy that je has finally asked me to be one of the godmothers of her new beautiful baby! yippee! i don't exactly have a good track record so i keep my list as short as possible. Better than spreading yourself out too thin, as echoed in Jerry Maguire.
Last night I also had an exchange of opinions as to which is the best Everything But the Girl album. We were pretty torn between Idlewild, and Worldwide and Language of Life (it was also the first album of theirs that i bought waaaaay back in um...i think it was 1990). I hate all this techno-dance-y shit though. The old albums were better.
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| posted by maldita @ 11:13 PM
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| scorpio's quickie |
Distance x rate x time = the harder you push, the farther you go.
Mind and drive has been working overtime trying to determine my so-called revenue track aka job hunting tasks. Several calls received today and I sent out several emails in response to their requests. Still haven't found what i'm looking for -said the rock band. Nothing has yet struck a nerve that resonates a "this is perfect for me"...hmmm patience is a virtue.
Have my weekend booked already. meeting up with a group of friends tonight - those who couldn't make it to my welcome home gathering last friday. Missed the Nuvo one-year anniversary party last night but its ok. I got Sugi anyway and didn't have the strength to go home drunk again. Tomorrow night have something to look forward to - we will see if it's going to be "one for the blog"
Aaah it's raining again! nice cold huggy-bear weather. yum.
but i still wish i were in SF to go see these:
why can't we have a great site for manila like manja.org? though trip.ph comes close |
| posted by maldita @ 12:48 AM
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| Thursday, July 15, 2004 |
| You're everything I wanted...and more |
Your face lights up the sky on the highway.
Someday, you'll share your world with me someday.
You mesmerize me with diamond eyes.
I try to fool myself to think I'll be alright.
But I am losing all control.My mind, my heart, my body and my soul
To speak or not to; where to begin.
The way dilemmas I'm finding myself in.
For all I know you only see me as a friend.
I try to tell myself wake up fool; this fairy tale's got to end.
Never in my life have I been more sure.
So come on up to me and close the door.
Nobody's made me feel this way before.
You're everything I wanted and more
You're everything I wanted.
- "Balisong" by Rivermaya
I do agree it's time to buy their album. Or download this GREAT song on kazaa... |
| posted by maldita @ 11:14 AM
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| Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh |
Had so much japanese food today...but it's all good.
Started off with lunch at Jumbo Japs where had a pretty long and inspiring conversation with my tita Ethel - of whom i have the most affection for. Her gentle demeanor never ceases to amaze me. We discussed the plans for Bloodlines and gave me good advice. It was also nice to see my cousin Macky back, all happy and content as opposed to the sadness that surrounded him when we had coffee in the US. It really all depends on where you find your home.
I was still hung over from the previous evening --> Picked up cristina from work, a little window shopping before gorging on asian food in Temple. The weather was warm but pleasant. Later when debbie joined us we decided to go to Nuvo for old times sake. Three girls on the town once more. See, this is where we started hanging out together about a year ago. Three single sisters who gravitated to each other by some fortunate coincidence. Of course, we had to go home (aka Capones)as our last stop - and it was Ane's birthday! yay! had so much free booze from different people i think i ended up consuming 8 glasses made up of six currant 7s and two rum cokes. owww...
oh and lest i forget to re-state this: Caco is my favorite!hahahahahaha! just kidding, martin ;)
which brings me back to today. I don't know if it was the oil from the food or the relaxing rain that made me pass out in slumber for the rest of the day. The weather tonight was good though. The rains brought a cold breeze that always gives me a nostalgic mood surrounded by sighs and sky stares. I had dinner with frances, sonny and victor in Sugi. Aah tons of ebi tempura, tofu steak, sushi and sashimi galore. I thought it was really sweet of them to treat us...just because i had returned home. Hadn't seen victor since about a week before i left Manila and it was great to joke and chat with him again.
So i guess even with just a few hours of consciousness, i feel like i had a full day. quality not quantity, for sure.
I just started looking through all my old posts and its funny to read them now. turning back to exactly a year ago...especially this one. do those lines sound familiar? but it is just amazing how much can change in just a year. |
| posted by maldita @ 9:22 AM
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| Tuesday, July 13, 2004 |
| Spit, swallow and stress |
Thanks to glenda for the article link and now men everywhere are celebrating...
Semen acts as an antidepressant - a recent study shows that females who have sex without condoms had fewer signs of depression than women who used condoms and abstained from sex. It apparently gives a shot of zinc, calcium, potassium, fructose, proteins -- a veritable cornucopia of vitality!
but before you jump into(gasp)unprotected sex...
Orgasm alone is a powerful pain-killer. Oxytocin, a natural chemical in the body that surges before and during climax, gets some of the credit, along with a couple of other compounds like endorphins. Sex lowers blood pressure, and might even protect against strokes because of its stress-relieving ability
and now for the newly-favored rallying cry of the male species...
It’s possible that male goo can lower blood pressure. Another recent study found that women who gave their men oral sex, and swallowed, had a lower risk of preeclampsia, the dangerously high blood pressure that sometimes accompanies pregnancy.
No, I’m not making this up. “The present study shows that oral sex and swallowing sperm is correlated with a diminished occurrence of preeclampsia,” said the Dutch authors.
See? We told you it was good for you.
Think the article is good enough to swallow? |
| posted by maldita @ 1:19 PM
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| A matter of opinion |
Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the 80s and 90s? Go... sub-question... is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away? - Barry (Jack Black) in High Fidelity
Should you commend an artist for having the guts to create or condemn them for having a lack of talent?
I have heard a lot of criticism over the past few days that range from Pumaren being a bad coach that led to the loss of La Salle, to the influences behind Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 to a painter’s lack of risk and emotion in his work (oops! Think that view was mine)
I have this recurrent admiration for anyone who succumbs to his or her personal push to create. Whether it be appreciated by the many or not – it is still subject to a slew of innumerable perspectives. So how can it be judged as a good piece or not? Art gallery works are subject to the owner’s preference as a film festival also relegates the entry selection to a partial person’s estimation. An expression of a mind’s work still leaves room to chance for touching even just one fancy.
What about those who weren’t blessed with a supposed talent? Practice and familiarity present potential possibilities for improvement over time. I know many film makers who are still not confident - though contained in their current success - to reveal their early works. Isn't it more unforgiving to refrain from the risk? To speak of what we want to do yet never put yourself out there, instead safely tuck away in your safe "i am a critic" zone?
I have tried playing the game of basketball and I have attempted to film a movie...they aren't exactly the easiest things to do. Which is why we relegate ourselves to audience participation. Think about that before you curse those who have been trying their darnest to give you good game.
After a hearty lunch with Pia and Ria @ Krocodile Grill (i missed pinoy food!), Martin and I caught Mina ja Morrison (Me and Morrison) in Cinemanila yesterday. Pretty predictable premise by the way - though screenplay was well-filled with witty recurrences and the actors have a commendable ability to play their parts flawlessly. But that’s just my unsolicited opinion. |
| posted by maldita @ 10:51 AM
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| am i in a happy place? |
friends have been telling me that my resurfaced blog emanates a happier vibe. To the curious, i only changed my template because the old one had been replaced with what looked like a series of black squares. don't ask me why, im as perplexed as the next "glitch" victim.
But maybe the old moody blue blog was (insistently) subjected to a lighter edition to signify change and re-generation. hmmm...i think i'm looking into this too closely. |
| posted by maldita @ 3:17 AM
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| Monday, July 12, 2004 |
| A life changing experience |
I've learned so much from spending six weeks in San Francisco. Like what our lives should really focus on more than personal trouble and debilitating insecurities. A few tears and sobs released themselves as i sat in my airplane seat in darkness - i still think we all deserve those temporary bouts of longing and sadness. But insanity is only a momentary exploitation if we can just focus and converge within the big picture. The world expands farther than what our wounded hearts whine about.
But anyway...going back to (self-obsessed?) introspection. I have some simple revelations:
- I can survive with only very few necessities. Not as minimal as say the contents of a hotel room but enough for me to get off my ass, go on a spontaneous road trip and spend the night in someone's sofa somewhere.
- I felt guilty for having complained of boring days. Its only as dull as you make it to be. too much time is wasted numbing oneself in front of the television where as you could use the hours to talk to a friend, pick up a good book or scour the illegal collection of music online or just do a good deed. Being out walking the streets of SF, i had more chances to do at least one good deed a day whether it be helping someone with directions or picking up dropped groceries, hugging a friend to make them feel better.
and new good habits:
- wearing my seatbelt
- walking short distances instead of using the car
- only buy what you really need, when you need it. forget the storage!
- "it was nice meeting you" after a new introduction. seems miniscule but i never realized how good it could make someone feel
- appreciating someone for spending even just a few hours with you. I used to take this for granted. but after being away for just a few weeks, you realize how valuable friend-time is and it should be recognized.
- thanks to jet lag, i've been sleeping around 10pm and waking up at 6am. Good prep in the event of getting a new job! |
| posted by maldita @ 6:45 PM
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| Monday, July 05, 2004 |
| Adam Has Crabs ROCKS! |
They were awesome! so much contagious energy and the most entertaining band i've ever seen! forget comedy shows, these guys can kick their asses goodbye...i'll post pics as soon as i find the time. Does anyone know how i can post video clips? is there a website i can upload to or something?
Saturday was tons of fun...thanks to friends who dropped by to give their goodbyes and gulp down a few drinks. Was also delighted to bump into some of the people i met through jim during the course of the trip - so i got the chance to say thanks and bye as well. Such sweet people! i have so much to be grateful for...
So tonight is my last night...im cutting it all so close - trying to make the most of every minute ;) |
| posted by maldita @ 4:49 PM
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| Saturday, July 03, 2004 |
| Just for Fun... |
You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Busy
While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time.
Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses...
... You don't give men enough of your time.
As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.
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| posted by maldita @ 1:13 AM
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| Thursday, July 01, 2004 |
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| Damn i want to go dance tonight! |
| posted by maldita @ 10:14 PM
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| i'm coming home! |
I hold my breath so you can breathe.
I give you endearment to lift you up
So you can fulfill your dreams
I can push the limits because of hope
But when is it so foolish and futile?
When the silent walls I made crumble in tears
I sit here in the silence echoed by a whimper
Don’t want anyone to hear
Don’t have strength to explain
I’ll just sail away to the sun
Not ever knowing if I had anything to do
With the seed that grew into you.
On a lighter note, I watched SPIDERMAN 2 last night! So good. I thought it was a good mix of talented actors, a perfect mix of wit and camp and although the CGI was almost as evident as my penchant for moody artists - it didn't distract so much as the Matrix did.
So i'm just fixing my luggage, planning my shopping list for gifts to bring back home and psyching myself for being back at the comfort zone. just like the result of a meeting i attended yesterday, i have mixed feelings.
But to everyone in the bay area, hope to see you for my last weekend here. This Saturday, July 3 come to the The Rickshaw Stop @ 155 Fell Street (between Van Ness & Franklin). I think it would be better to leave with my last images of you guys drunk and deliriously happy! don't you think so?
The night opens at 8pm with a set from DJ Logan from Oakland Then you'll get to hear by a 60song-60minute splice-of-life set by Pseudotunesmith…and finally the long awaited performance of the rock comedy gods AdAM HaS CRaBs after an 11-year hiatus.
I foresee a night filled with songs, sounds, stories and hopefully steamy embraces (haha)resonating how much i'll miss you guys. Now THAT's a send off party!
see you there!
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| posted by maldita @ 3:37 PM
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| When i get my first apartment, i'm going to buy me a coffee maker. Nothing like the sweet aroma of a fresh cup. |
| posted by maldita @ 2:59 PM
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