:: musings of a misfit ::: January 2005
Monday, January 31, 2005
the immigrants have landed!
Here's Alan from Colorado @ Pasto (you can also see how we looked a year ago here)


Carol from San Francisco @ Bellissima


Jane from Beijing @ Capones


Chris from Vancouver @ Paseo Uno lounge party


my self-centered comments:

Gaddamit i look like a friggin beached whale! time to diet, exercise or save for the fucking liposuction. Maybe the new job will give me enough stress (or money?) to lose a few pounds.

And don't ask me why but i get this deer-in-headlights look in some pictures. i do recall smiling at that point in time.

My hair seems to have reached mermaid level. and the wave is back. some friends like it and others don't. i don't know what to do with it.

so that's three creatures already...a whale, deer and mermaid. gross thought.
posted by maldita @ 7:37 AM  
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Good call.
Why is it that whenever i meet a guy who i can hav a great conversation with - hes always not from here in manila and is leaving in a few days? i met three tonight! I lost count already as to how many they've been in the past year. Maybe i just find more in common with the transplanted pinoy who has traveled a lot and exposed to more than this archipelago and its culture has to offer. it was a good thing i called topsy to hav a drink with in Capones before i went home tonight. That one drink turned into several with mah hot chickas joining the fun. The mellow night turned into a rowdy ruckus tanked with their hyper energy. I'm now going to sleep with a smile. this weekend may become interesting after all.

pictures to follow...as soon as jane sends them.
posted by maldita @ 10:17 AM  
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
in theaters near you
Watched several movies over the past few days and here's what i think:
Kung Fu Hustle - Excellente!
Oceans 12 - Not as bad as everyone said.
Elektra - Definitely not as bad as I expected but it's not amazingly awesome. I tend to want more from action movies. I've watched enough of them to have gathered a certain preference for fight scene choreography and camera angles.


I had caught a glimpse of her in the Elektra trailer before I caught Oceans12 and my curiosity was piqued. And today, while watching Elektra in Rockwell I knew she was one of our more visible models. But it was utterly difficult to pinpoint since she had a slab of makeup on.

Ta-daaah! it's Natassia Malthe. Think I have a Cosmo or Mega mag somewhere with her on the cover, and she was the Johnson & Johnson 5.5 commercial talent. Thanks IMDB for the info. Though I didn't recognize her as the "girl in bed" in the movie 40 Days and 40 Nights. What a role title.

posted by maldita @ 11:06 AM  
Like a baby learning to walk…

All I do is sleep all day, and think of you.
A memory of the cushion life I'm clinging to. The image of a mutual one, our haven. The sombre chords of our song, the fading. Passion and its brother hate, they come and go. Could easily be made to stay for longer though. Many people play this game so willingly. Do I have to be like them, or be lonely? Love is no big truth. Driven by our genes, we are simple selfish beings. A symphony that's you. Joyously awaking the ignorant and sleeping.

I'll never need it again, not again, not again...

- "Love is no big truth" by Kings of Convenience

Sometimes it seems too easy to let our lives hang at a balance while waiting for someone to return. The problem with letting our lives revolve around one person or another is that we have the most convenient excuse for everything. The pain can disable. The trauma transfixes us in apprehension. How convenient.

I still try not to think of certain people that have chipped off my shoulders and have immobilized my progression. It isn’t that easy. What’s that saying – so easy to blame, so hard to take responsibility. Sometimes I also wish that certain friends have not decided to migrate to a distant location just so I could have someone to guide me through my problems. They had been my mentors in maturity and always put things at a different perspective. I haven’t really been talking much because without them here, I just don’t know anyone else who would understand me as well as they do. There are two reasons why people confide predicaments and difficulty – either to vent or to ask for advice. I think I’ve vented enough to make even myself nauseous.

It’s just really terrifying to realize that you’re left alone at the controls. You’ve mastered the guide book. You’ve passed the course. You don’t have an instructor giving you practice runs. Time for the real thing where all the decisions are based on your own judgment. So much freedom and fear. Cowardice rears its ugly head at the most insecure moments. But I’m learning to tread lightly and take baby steps. It will take some time but I’ll get to where I should be…and who I want to be.
posted by maldita @ 7:51 AM  
Monday, January 24, 2005
i hate you.
posted by maldita @ 10:15 PM  
Saturday, January 22, 2005
A home run!
Amazing!m hme n 1 pc evn f im inebriated w 5 drinks n
my system. Wl never drink ds much n drive agen.thanx 2
jay,ryan,jose n je hu watchd ovr me 2nyt.xanctuary
rocks! I misd listening 2 d ol skid row shit.m gng 2
pass out now



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posted by maldita @ 11:09 AM  
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
something's missing...
debbieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

found this picture while surfing through my buzznet. it's an old christmas picture from 2003. seems like such a long time ago.
posted by maldita @ 9:04 AM  
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
man hunting.
everytime i stay awake in the morning i get to watch whatever is on ETC or AXN or whatever. Tonight I ended up catching an episode of Manhunt. The male answer to Next Top Model which i really liked also. But since we're kinda late in the season, the winner has already been chosen but before i checked the website, i made my choice. Did the same thing for Next Top Model - i seem to know who will win. Those who can't do, criticize. hahahaha!

Yoanna House (you want a house? but seriously, she's gorgeouuuuus!)
23 years old

Jon Helgasson (this pic doesn't do him justice. his SMILE is what makes him luscious! ok fine, plus the long hair and eyes.) 22 years old.

And all the rest of us are asking - how come we didn't look like that when we were in our early twenties???
posted by maldita @ 10:40 AM  
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe
Chronicles of Narnia

For all those who have gorged on the books as much as I have...we have something to look forward to! yippeedoodaa.

i'm still not talking. notice?
just don't have much to say anymore, i guess.
posted by maldita @ 9:49 AM  
Friday, January 14, 2005
my new favorite movie.


I just can't stand the fact that Natalie Portman is the desktop image for this movie. It should be Zach Braff.

Can someone please find me the soundtrack? pretty pretty please?
posted by maldita @ 4:19 AM  
Thursday, January 13, 2005
letting go.
i once read a book for my Introduction to Fiction class in DLSU called Letting Go. But before you perceive it as some hopeless romantic sappy unrequited love stories - it presented the different instances and attitudes that one goes through to detach from hurtful or painful experiences. The most commonly discussed is, naturally, that of the loss of romantic love and physical death.

I read this email today from a friend which gives concise advice on the romantic classification. I've heard a lot of sad stories in recent weeks from other friends who have bouts of suffering stemming from their respective break-ups. I say, wallow in the sadness but given a few weeks or months, know that it's time to move on. Life cannot revolve around another person. It should first and foremost be about yourself. Your existence shouldn't be dictated by the actions of others because you were made as an individual and you have your own life to live.

And maybe this will help...

Something to start the year right...Let it go for 2005...
by T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know! whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......Let it go.

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....
If someone has angered you .......
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ......
If you have a bad attitude.......
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......

Let it go.
posted by maldita @ 9:23 PM  
mobile entry
Testing my email blog.m usng my phone for this
entry.had a blast tonight hanging out with alan.had
dinner first n Pasto w frances,met up w Lj n Carina
too.then took him to peligro.a change from capones but
he liked it immensely.he also said he cud hav sworn iv
bn driving for years.haha! I realize my entries hav bn
monotonous.need to publish my sparks of thought again.
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posted by maldita @ 5:27 PM  
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
no pain, no gain.
i just had a very uncomfortable ten hour sleep. on and off. got tennis elbow - on both arms! that's what i get for being on sabbatical from my favorite sport for so long. But it means it's working right? i'm on a quest to lose more weight in the next few weeks. inspired daw hahaha! but it was such a great workout, nothing beats the sweat that tennis brings. And i revisited my old haunt at Polo Club. I used to only play at Rockwell because it was nearby. Ben is heaven sent baby.

Ok so what's up with tomorrow night? by the time i woke up, there are about six different plans for dinner, drinks or a movie - all set up for friday! guess everyone's back from their respective trips, that's why. But it's all good. Since i have the freedom to see everyone - here's hoping it will all happen in close proximity and i can get a few drinks in edgewise.

Even tonight two different commitments overlapped. So i just mushed them together. It's so easy when your friends are all super nice and amiable, i guess. Was just discussing this with JV over coffee yesterday that there is just no room in this short life of ours to have a closed mind. How can you make some hasty generalization about people judging from only the few you've met? Like, you can't say all men are jerks or all women are bitches. why, have you met every man and woman on the planet? Even if a survey sample is meant to be a representative of the entire population - researchers know it is only meant to be an indication, not a conclusion. Oh God, where did that last statement come from? Katas ng marketing research.

Have any of you every noticed if you have a twitch when you sleep? because i do. I also noticed it in some particular people. Thanks to my new graphic novel, Death: The High Cost of Living (thanks JV!) i found out it's called a myoclonic twitch and it does happen when i have a light sleep. Sometimes caused by stress, but at the present case - caused by too much thought.
posted by maldita @ 9:07 PM  
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
new music links...simply for the pleasure of it
NoisePop
DragCity
posted by maldita @ 5:01 PM  
Monday, January 10, 2005
keeping in touch.
since i got back last saturday it's been pretty busy. at least the momentum is still there. Lots of friends are in town for the holidays from their other countries of residence, got to hang out with my last-bastion-of-witty-reparte, having lunch and dinner dates with friends who i missed over the holidays and just now i read an email telling me about the new medical mission schedule and so i will get the chance to take out some california buds. awesome!

last night over dinner with the zig, he noticed how hilarious it was that i had this new fixation on ben. Told him i had washed him last sunday and new tasks are to buy some car cleaning supplies, rubber mats, the works. After dinner and a few drinks with marc joining us, i had to skeedadle over to pass for my bundle-of-banter-buddy robbie. long overdue man! aaah the liberation of being the friend on call for a lift. we passionately pleaded for the last call in Belissima for drinks (how can you guys close early when there are still paying customers?) to enjoy carol's last pinoy hurrah before she departs for san francisco. but i will be meeting her over there soon!

i miss you already, carol! sniff.

she's been gone for several years but it hasn't changed anything! it seems like only yesterday we were on our usual bi-weekly lunch date or a double date with some guys in Le Taxi and Venezia. haha! don't forget to send the pics!

i'm looking at my calendar now and noticed it's already full. maybe that feng shui prediction that frances sent me is true. that i'll be too busy in 2005 focusing on friends and career to get involved with anyone. maybe. but hope not.

lemme just give a down-right THANK YOU to Peter for giving me the Saul Williams CD. "It's so great, eh!"

OH and cecile is right.
Kings of Convenience is from Bergen, Norway. Had a couple of AIM classmates who were from bergen! coolness.

posted by maldita @ 11:46 PM  
Friday, January 07, 2005
update.
+ am in hongkong airport now. boarding in two hours.
+ met a few adorable hotties in vancouver. have shifted to white-boy preference.
+ got to hang with chancy, "the other tioseco looker" chris, peter and ryan. marc almost.
+ am not attracted to chinese-looking men anymore. as proven by hongkong trip.
+ discovered an awesome canadian band called Kings of Convenience.
+ am excited to meet up with carol tonight at capones. though seeing her will probably remind me of when we were together in SF last july. and the @#%* jerk.
+ that last statement is not a good way to start the new year.
+ i missed the internet.
+ and my car, ben. am washing him myself tomorrow. (no, you can't watch)
+ got so much work to do. finding work.
+ have the next week's tasks all lined up in a new planner.
+ still have a bad cough.need warmth.
+ lost only about 3 lbs as compared to 10 lbs in SF and 5 lbs from last December trip.
+ need to start work with indiefilipino asap. am very excited!1

manila...manila...keep coming back to manila...
posted by maldita @ 10:21 PM  
 
 

she had eyes like two turntables mix(h)er in between my dreams and reality blend in ancient themes the bas(e)is of isis cross-faded to ankh the beat drops like a cliff over looking my heart - Saul Williams


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