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| Thursday, July 22, 2004 |
| Maybe the absence of signs is a sign |
quote by Jonathan Trager (Serendipity)
I snivel at the thought of having so many signs in the past few months but not the final one I needed. So I made that call to get my ticket changed and flew back to Manila. If perception is relative then how do I know I haven’t been looking at these signs all wrong? Or I could be guilty of the persistent female sin of overanalysis. I want to buy the book “Love and Other Demons” but apparently the five hundred peso price tag is just too much for my limited purse strings at the moment. So is love really a demon that haunts you with a new face each time (see previous entry on Ethan Hawke analysis) or is it something rare and opportune like Love in the Time of Cholera? Maybe this fortuitous match I’ve yearned for so long is as elusive as that book considered the greatest love story of all time. Is it a sign of something that whenever I am on the brink of breaking down, the sky shares the same sentiment and Manila is downtrodden with the bursting of clouds?
took this shot while walking around greenbelt...
I think many can relate to this unbelievably huge lump that keeps you from breathing when you are sad. I feel like it is gripping my palpitating pound of flow until I realize that it IS my heart. And just like the incurable Mitral Valve Prolapse I’ve been afflicted with for the past ten years - I still hope that if I ignore it, it will go away. This thought process is a vast improvement from when I wrote my first and last short story where I regarded love to be my death as toxic as the smoke inhaled through my lungs each day. I now remain good friends with the man who inspired that story which brought tears to all those privileged to have read it. So much can happen in a few years.
My thanks to all the men who have called me baby and taught me a little more about life.
I kinda thought I was Dandel who has to let go and contemplate on significance or the lack of it…
but now I have only two words – “doot-doot!” |
posted by maldita @ 1:16 PM
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