| Thursday, September 30, 2004 |
| random thought. |
margie's candies is a store in chicago. i once had a business when i was around 14 years old called Margie's Cookies. Specialty was chewy oatmeal ones. |
posted by maldita @ 1:07 PM
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| work while i wait |
and so...i'm the recent volunteer of this non-profit foundation associated with an NGO, LGUs and another non-profit in California. It's pretty cool and i'm learning a whole lot about how these groups work. I can't really say much about it at the moment because we want to build momentum for a major launch very soon. i'll post the pics here eventually ;)
All i can say is, i'm glad to be working with these beautiful people who have so much energy, enthusiasm and love. I can't believe the head of programs quit her day job to focus on this. I, on the other hand can spare the time and effort. So I'm just basically absorbing all the information and research so I can direct myself properly with the full-blown marketing strategies and tasks. phew.
the last opportunity i had to "give back" as they say, i pretty much dove in to the grant proposal generation, research etc. but with this one, a lot of headway has been cleared and the crucial implementation (and very fast timeline)is ongoing. I hope i don't disappoint. And as they say - when one door closes...
Ironically, instead of the other project where ithere was already a documentary but I had to plan the promotional push in seven provinces...now i HAVE the plan for 15 regions of the philippines and NEED a documentary film maker who will travel with us and shoot. geez.
so, any takers?
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| posted by maldita @ 12:13 PM
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| all apologies |
So you lost your trust
And you never should have
And you never should have
But don't break your back
If you ever see this
But don't answer that
In a bullet proof vest
With the windows all closed
I'll be doing my best
I'll see you soon
In a telescope lens
And when all you want is friends
I'll see you soon
So they came for you
They came snapping at your heels
They come snapping at your heels
But don't break your back
If you ever say this
But don't answer that
... In a telescope lens
And when all you want is friends
I'll see you soon
And oh, you lost your trust
And oh, you lost your trust
No, don't lose your trust
And oh, you lost your trust
- "See you soon" by Coldplay
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| posted by maldita @ 8:32 AM
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| Monday, September 27, 2004 |
| so tell me... |
when a recruiter asks me "so what have you been busy with for the past few months since graduation?" i always tell them jobhunting, freelance projects blah blah...
but one answer i fancy giving them is "oh i just watch cartoons everyday" and see how they'd react. I mean what if i did right? There's something i noticed in cartoons though, the bad guys always seem to have a whole army of henchmen everytime they attack. is there some employment agency that assures adequate supply each day?
Minion Recruitment Agency
Needs a not-so-smart, well-built man who looks good in a mask
No qualifications pertaining to educational attainment or work history.
500 openings available. Call us now!
hahahahahahaha!
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| posted by maldita @ 5:08 AM
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| Sunday, September 26, 2004 |
| when we were young |
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| posted by maldita @ 2:34 AM
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| stop telling me who i should be |
i hate people and friends who think they have the best judgment as to who I am. And any faltering on that picture they have conjured up in their own minds is easily deduced to be a fault of mine or a problem arising. I just do what i want...
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by an identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice? I can't be the only one who's learned
Can I have everyone's attention please
if you're not like this and that you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
- "I Don't Want To Be" by Gavin Degraw (One Tree Hill soundtrack)
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| posted by maldita @ 11:47 AM
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| Thursday, September 23, 2004 |
| i am such a clutz. |
last wednesday was anton's birthday shindig and it was so great seeing all my old buddies from way back when. also nice to be remembered my the folks who i hung out with about 5 years or so ago - hey you remember mah name doobeedooo!
i left early though with only three glasses of white wine in the my system. as i walked out of the building to my car, i caught a momentary glimpse of the smoking crowd outside Piper's bar and kahplonk! tripped on the friggin street. damn these stilletos! what a sight. damn damn. i shimmied to my car with thanks that i wore my hair down so maybe my face was not recognizable. i hope. but now i have these huge bruises and scrapes on my knees. hu-hu-hu...guess skirts are out for the next few days.
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| posted by maldita @ 6:31 PM
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| i love the geek-man |
di pa naman ako mahilig sa kulot!har-har!
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| posted by maldita @ 6:13 PM
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| Tuesday, September 21, 2004 |
| dance to the beat of my own drum |
What tarot card are you?
You are the Hermit card. The Hermit has chosen a solitary spiritual path. He shines light on his inner self and, by this means, gains wisdom. The Hermit's home is the natural world and it is by being in tune with that world that he learns the laws of nature and learn how they operate within himself. His path is a lonely one as he lives in silence and has for companionship only his own internal rhythms. But those crossing his path are touched by his light and wisdom. Though often alone, he manages nevertheless to instruct those who meet him and guides those who chose to follow him on a path towards enlightenment.
Image from The Aleister Crowley Tarot deck.
brought to you by Quizilla |
| posted by maldita @ 8:53 AM
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| no one is to blame |
i did my "cleanup" last night. After reading Blankets by Craig Thompson I decided it was time to save the space from all the individual boyfriend boxes and place them all into one. More like saying goodbye to the past and white-washing the walls. Instead of the expected tearjerking trip down memory lane, i found more delightful surprises from my preceding years. I didn't realize how much my exes loved me then - in their own sweet ways. Almost all are avid travellers that each one had sent me at least one postcard from their trips. Miguel gave me little sentimental gifts, Martin F. wrote me the most number of cards for no reason except to express his affections and gratitude that i had been in his life, had a large file on Joey filled with little notes, stuffed toys, flowers, thoughtful gestures, news articles among others. It's just sad that the biggest collection of sentiment had been lost in oblivion - Karl's. there are some others that i refrain to mention anymore but they're all now in my box too.
I spent a good few hours smiling and giggling while reading and re-discovering who they were and why I had the great fortune of being with these sweethearts for a moment in time.
So i would not really advise people to throw or burn mementos after a bad (or good) breakup. What for? after a few years, it's usually what helps remind you that they were and still are good people who truly loved and cared for you...then. Life has a way of changing things but it's nobody's fault. Proof of which is my close friendship with all of them - save for two.
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| posted by maldita @ 8:04 AM
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| visited states map |
so i've only been to california...so what asshole? hehe...
i like it there. maybe i'll trek on to new york or boston eventually - due much to people of influence.
anyway, i still like this post because i'm damn happy with what i've been provided for. and to those in vancouver - see you end of december dudes! was originally scheduled for SF (would have been awesome to go back) but i missed the canada trip two years ago so it's high time again! maybe now i'll get to ski or sled in Whistler again. wahoo!
create your own visited states map
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| posted by maldita @ 12:41 AM
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| Monday, September 20, 2004 |
| finally...my book review |
i'm going to submit this for newsletter publication so will keep you updated. I just missed the last issue so they said they'll have a bigger spread on graphic novels for the next one...but STILL wanted to share what i wrote with you guys:
same difference and other stories
by derek kirk kim
published by top shelf productions
a review by margie escueta
The rain is pelting my pane like a spray of bullets while I listen to my favorite Postal Service MP3s, take my first cigarette drag and crouch on this lawn chair with an appreciative sense of complete satisfaction. I had just finished reading Derek Kirk Kim’s book “Same Difference and other stories” which I had been aching for since July. Thank the heavens for the diverse selection in Fully Booked that provides readers like me the chance to sample new tastes. (Note: there are four more copies on the shelf last time I looked and trust me, you better start running now)
* today there are only two copies left
Admittedly I began my fascination with Derek Kim when I had the chance to meet the author in San Francisco recently. After an immensely entertaining reading of one of his short stories in an open mic night at Locus Arts, I found it necessary for me to tell him what I thought of his satirical wit. After about twenty minutes of laughing hysterically while discussing the frustrations of dating, I said goodbye and went home to log on to his website to possibly get a copy of the reading. Lo and behold, the man had a graphic novel. Not just any book but one that had been highly acclaimed and praised by the likes of Time Magazine and Ain’t-it-Cool. A huge surge of vanity prevailed in my system that urged me to buy the book. As evidence of such egotistical motivations, I am writing this review to simply tell all of you that I had met this comic genius.
So back to the book. Just when most Asian writers tend to alienate all other cultures with their jargon, “Same Difference” does just the opposite. From the point of view of an Asian American, it provides just enough insinuations as to Kim’s Korean heritage and good looks but there is no delineation between how white or yellow you should be to understand the language and lunacy.
You can find more insight as to how our free-flow conversations with friends appear like to the third set of eyes. The thought process does not come as clearly as say a fortune cookie declaration but it achieves enough to spur a discussion. It does not give the answers either, as if Kim were some self-help guru who knew the significance of verve. It paves the way for questions to be thrown out there, and you seize the answers from your own life occurrences.
Another critical reason to buy this book is to appreciate the simplicity of his graphic depictions. Where some panels are left with no dialogue, the timing is impeccable. How this man calculated the number of seconds needed for the last words to sink in while skimming through the house or sunset in the next few squares is beyond me. It is seamless. I felt like I was watching a stop motion movie that captured every detail without fancy shadings, intricate depictions or much furniture.
So now my reason for owning this book has evolved from a conceited flaw to one of a higher nature. It helps one get by each day of their well-educated bum life when you know it is not all going to waste. Every event leads to a greater discovery of self and others. There are people like Kim or you and me who see things and question incessantly which can only lead to an improvement off the plane of complacency. But we do so with a sense of hilarity and friends. Needless to say introspection need not be a cloud of doom.
So I met this great writer/artist and I finally have his book. Now to jump on a plane to get him to sign it for me. |
| posted by maldita @ 1:52 AM
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| Saturday, September 18, 2004 |
| amidst the rain |
The Philippines has broken the Guinness Book of World Records for making the largest human rainbow. Students from Polytechnic University of the Philippines trekked to The Rizal Park to create the sea of colors. It's aim was even more noble - "With this attempt, we want to show the whole world that people can be united toward a common goal for universal peace," organizer Dr. Victoria Naval told the Inquirer Saturday.
I find this absolutely breathtaking and inspiring in its simplicity. |
| posted by maldita @ 5:56 PM
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| Friday, September 17, 2004 |
| book review coming soon! |
just finished Derek Kirk Kim's "Same Difference and other stories"
SO GOOD. I am finishing the book review so i can submit it to some publications...
this chapter is one of my favorites from the book. I can relate to Nancy! That's me! hehe :) |
| posted by maldita @ 2:13 AM
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| some things just grab you like fire |
Having just finished a prelim interview, I decided to reward myself with a new book. Even if I hadn't finished Life of Pi yet because it calls me at different moments of flippancy. So surrounded by the scattered showers in Fully Booked, I made my choice. If only because of this story that left me wanting more.
Here is an excerpt from the short story "The National Anthem" written by Jonathan Lethem inspired by the music and lyrics from "Speeding Motorcycle" performed by Yo La Tengo:
Dear M.,
Our long letters are pleasing to me, but they do come slowly. Lulled by the intrinsic properties of email, I've been willing to let most of my other correspondences slide down that slippery slope, into hectic witty ping-pong. But our deep connection, for twenty years or more now unrefreshed or diluted or whatever it would be by regular communications in person or on the phone, is precious to me, and demands more traditional letters...
...You wonder whether you can stand never to know the touch of a fresh hand, the trembling flavor of a new kiss, and I'm desperately trying to keep from telling you the little I know: It's sweeter than anything, for a moment. For just a moment, and nothing else...the wisdom of your ambivalence, the whimsical, faux-jaded wit you share in your letter, as you contemplate the beauties around you, all that poise will be shattered if you act - I can promise you that much.
I always had this desire to write or find a book, a good one, that had stories inspired by different songs. Because songs have always been an inspiration for momentous emotions and revealing thoughts. I find most lyrics to be like poetry that spoke with hidden tones and personal histories.
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| posted by maldita @ 10:03 AM
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| Saturday, September 11, 2004 |
| anger is not the best medicine |
thank you for making me trust less the words of man.
you will be but a speck on my life story
a year from now you will have lost your luster
in my flows of meditation
but sincerity of other more beautiful souls will remain
as pieces of me
and proof of my good intentions.
like a phoenix rising from the ashes
regeneration spews a free spirit
and tears that aim to heal others' mistakes.
But i will never let you burn me with your condescending tone
Never let you debilitate my growth
or my wonder of the world and within.
la-dee-dah-dee-dah! |
| posted by maldita @ 12:36 PM
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| Thursday, September 09, 2004 |
| i love my cuz! |
my cousin alfie is simply one of the most awesome people in my life right now. Stemming from the origins of our familial ties - to being the sole instructor on the skills in Pusoy Dos - to being part of my debutante-rose-bearing male (role)models - to becoming my landlord for six weeks - to my concerned friend - to my consultant of the future.
And the gratitude just keeps pouring in! No wonder God decided to give you and sharon a little bundle of joy. Keeping my fingers crossed I'll be based in the bay by the time the baby arrives! |
| posted by maldita @ 2:54 PM
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| Watsup with my graphic novel attraction? |
I guess it started when my bro (so proud! yes i am!) finished his 44-page graphic novel entitled "Heaven and Hell". Don't worry, it will hit the bookstands soon enough - it's done completely in black and white, story and illustration all sourced from his immensely creative mind. beauty!
So anyway, i'm thoroughly enjoying Fables. Very entertaining read. But check the illustrations out on the latest from Top Shelf Comix: Owly!
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| posted by maldita @ 11:41 AM
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| Tuesday, September 07, 2004 |
| burn baby burn |
This heat has brought out everyone's desire for the beach. I could go with either of the two chick groups, the baby doll, the hot mama or one of the old bastards. Based on the status of the white stripe, my tan desperately needs a touch up. I want to broil and burn like a blushing lobster. You gotta appreciate living in this archipelago where there are so many choices and all these kick-ass friends to get drunk with at a moment's notice.
You also gotta love this song...with the flavor/humor/wit of Peaches, Lady Tron rocks!
They only want you when you're seventeen
When you're twenty-one
You're no fun
They take a polaroid and let you go
Say they'll let you know
So come on
- "Seventeen" by Lady Tron
So what does that make me? An old cow?!
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| posted by maldita @ 12:15 PM
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| Monday, September 06, 2004 |
| courage under fire |
what is it about courage. you only get it after you've actually faced your fear. last saturday - without much help from the number of drinks volunteered by gallant men @ Nuvo - i gathered up the nerve to do something i usually don't do. apologize. It wasn't such a biggie. I just felt that if i required honesty from the people i dated then i should also offer the same right? and he was a really nice guy who deserved it. Frankly, i thought i'd bump into him in the next week or so but lo and behold there he was walking by behind a group of guys i was sharing a ciggie with. And so with a nice heartfelt hello, i asked if i could have five minutes - much to the delight and imagination of his supportive buds. If only they knew. And so i apologized if a few months ago i had given him the wrong idea and avoided his calls for the next several weeks - and even escaped more of it when i left the country. See, i usually do that. guys get the hint after the fifth missed call. Coward that i am. And again, to prove my theory right - he said i didn't need to apologize and that i was a good person. Sigh. So nice. And i feel better to get that off my chest.
Now you're thinking - was it a selfish act? for the egotistic need to lessen the guilt? maybe. but way back when hilarious bastard and i bumped into each other in Capones one night - two years after he did the same thing and now it was one marriage and two babies later - it was such a relief to hear his apology and honest-to-goodness rationalization. No bullshit about it. Just a reason that left the wonder and dark imagination i had burdened through two boyfriends after flutter away like laughter. So maybe it was self-seeking act but hey, i might have given him release and relief for the next girl who'll appreciate him better than i did.
And speaking of appreciation...i should do this more often - but i am so grateful to my sources of strength - Ane, Debbie, Cris, Macky, Sarah, Sadrina, Chancy (i'll see you soon in a few months in Vancouver!), Trina, Ed, Chris, Cecile, Claud, Ria, Pia, Sonny...and in SF - Alfie & Sharon, Dimples and Randy (my young-un! i'll always be your OG, dude!)...you guys rock! thanks for the love!
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| posted by maldita @ 11:19 AM
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| Average everday sane psycho supergoddess! |
I know, i'm SUCH a lyric fiend! hehe...
I am extraordinary
If you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary
I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
You may not believe in me but I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you
So dig a little deeper cause you still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring
Who the hell are you
- "Extraordinary" by Liz Phair
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| posted by maldita @ 3:17 AM
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| Saturday, September 04, 2004 |
| latest band affection |
I don't know your face no more or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more, It's just a place I'm looking for
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well.
I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in another time
We might as well be strangers
Be strangers
For all I know of you now
- "We might as well be strangers" by Keane |
| posted by maldita @ 12:01 AM
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| Wednesday, September 01, 2004 |
| Lottery Yarn |
a few irate or amused friends have pointed this out to me on recent outings. I'm sure all of you who have a yahoo account have noticed this huge banner on top that says GREEN CARD LOTTERY.
I for one would rather get it on my own merits - say, legal employment?
So i checked out if the facts they presented were true, and there it was in big bold letters: that apparently Filipinos (among others like Mexico, India, Taiwan, Colombia, El Salvador etc.) are not allowed to enter the lottery. But if you are from Iraq you can. Ironic.
BUT according to the site, these are certain countries that are not eligible only because they are the principal source countries of Family-Sponsored and Employment-Based immigration, or "high admission" countries .
I think its a fair enough reason - your discretion as to which pertains to the Philippines - but in any case, don't blow a gasket people. yeesh.
I abhor shortcuts!
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| posted by maldita @ 12:41 PM
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