| Monday, June 26, 2006 |
| ignition. |
woohoo! here's to a new start!
got a new bigdaddyhoncho in my once stagnant corpy life:
doesn't the company color just go well with my blog? hehe
how exciting! my mind hasn't been able to sleep silently for the past few days because it has been racing with ideas and gameplans for the new job. let's see how things will go this time...
and someday you will be mine...
but realistically...i know an ixus or powershot would make me just as happy. hehe.
I'm about to have me some fun!
ignition by r.kelly |
posted by maldita @ 5:58 AM
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| Saturday, June 24, 2006 |
| much has been said. |
No one ever said it was going to be easy
start over again this time this time
Let's do it right
Start over again this time this time
Lets keep the fires burning...
It's a semblance of a new lease. a new chance.
there's one for me.
and there's another for us.
i'll see how this will turn out.
maybe things are better the second time around.
i don't want to make the same mistakes again.
thank you for this.
woke up today with an excited feeling i haven't felt in what seems like years!
much has been said by bamboo |
| posted by maldita @ 6:13 AM
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| Wednesday, June 21, 2006 |
| what i am. |
from the Birth Calculator
You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 7.
The Life Path 7 suggests that you entered this plane with a gift for investigation, analysis, and keen observation. You are a thinker of the first order. You evaluate situations very quickly, and with amazing accuracy. As a result, you are thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to meet a high standard of performance, too.
A Life Path 7 person is a peaceful and affectionate soul. But you guard your connection to people carefully. It's easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people, and you avoid them. You aren't one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it's for life. Chances are you are a very charming and refined individual with great poise and a quick wit. Nonetheless, there is an exclusiveness about you.
You actually like being alone and away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. In many ways, you would have fit in better in much earlier times when the pace of life was less hectic. You need a good deal of quiet time to be with your own inner thoughts and dreams. You dislike crowds, noise, distractions, and confusion.
The overwhelming strength of the number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown; you will garner knowledge from practically every source that you find. Intellectual, scientific, and studious, you don't accept a premise until you have dissected the subject and arrived at your own independent conclusion.
As of 6/21/2006 10:43:05 AM EDT
You are 29 years old.
You are 355 months old.
You are 1,545 weeks old.
You are 10,816 days old.
You are 259,594 hours old.
You are 15,575,683 minutes old.
You are 934,540,985 seconds old.
There are 141 days till your next birthday
Your birthstone is Citrine. Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.
some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone: Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond
Your birth tree is Walnut Tree, the Passion
Unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromises.
what i am by edie brickell and the new bohemians |
| posted by maldita @ 7:49 AM
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| you learn. |
Place the key in the slot and rev up the engine. Nothing to lose. You're already at the bottom of the pit anyway. And you step hard on the gas. Just let it all go. Through the bushes, through that fence...suprisingly through that stone wall. And then you see it! there's a little light and you know you can make it. Just a little longer. a little piece of hope for something good in your life. A sputter...slows down...you've run out of gas. don't worry. It's just a short delay. Get a refill and be back on your way. If only the flicker holds out till you get there.
little story aside...there's something i've come to think about. When you're scared of getting hurt, the defensive response is usually to get mad or depressed about it. Sometimes you even leave or push people away just so they can't hurt you. And then you have another reason to put yourself down for the next couple of years. always the victim. but a very selfish one. I've been through this cycle so many times before. Only now have I actually thought about it. Instead of actually surrendering oneself to their own faults - such as proclaiming what a bad person you are - do somethin to change it. It will be a vicious cycle if you acknowledge something and change is not the solution you think of. Self-inflicted bruises do not make a saint, just a confused martyr.
instead of being immobilized feeling sorry for yourself...dust off the self-centered bullshit and change.
don't sit there by your car and cry or punch something out of frustration. well, maybe for a while you can. but don't linger. and don't give up. Just get off your ass and find some gas. The sooner you do something about it, the sooner your future will get better.
you learn by alanis morissette |
| posted by maldita @ 2:27 AM
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| Sunday, June 18, 2006 |
| lonely day |
that's what today is. sundays usually are...with a few exceptions. but today felt like the old times I wish i could forget.
I could tell from the minute I woke up
It was going to be a lonely lonely
Lonely lonely day.
Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes
And try to tell myself I can’t go back to bed
It’s gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
Even though the sun is shining down on me
and I should feel about as happy as can be
I just got here and I already want to leave
It’s gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day
Everybody knows that something’s wrong
But nobody knows what’s going on
We all sing the same old song
When you want it all to go away
It’s shaping up to be a lonely day
lonely day by phantom planet |
| posted by maldita @ 2:28 AM
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| wishing that. |
i think we purposely look at celebrities - aside from admiring them - to see the flaws they so excellently hide in brushed up photos. Just when we start feeling sorry for ourselves that we aren't as gorgeous as them...you have this secret delight everytime certain photos come out of hiding...
I found Lindsay's pictures to be the most surprising. I find this girl very attractive and admire her for her fashion sense. Can't really tell whether its laid back or glam. Maybe both. But it's more her stylist's style (rachel zoe) and not hers anyway.
Lindsay's back and boobie
maybe the boob show is meant to distract you from her freckled and hairy back. i'm surprised the girl doesn't look so good close up. I guess that's the curse of the redheads. tsk tsk.
and then you have hot chicks like jessica alba. with every angle and zoom lens, this woman can do no wrong. sure she's got some dark circles under her eyes which in the real world no concealer can ever really remove but she still looks healthy, clean and well groomed to me. she should be the poster girl for all these lollipop looking teenage queens - skinny does not equal sexy!
well i had fun looking at the pics...did you? heehee.
wishing that by jann arden |
| posted by maldita @ 1:25 AM
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| Friday, June 16, 2006 |
| call and answer. |
It’s fairly easy to be with someone when they’re at their best time…but the true test of your love and loyalty is when you still manage to hang in there and stay when they’re at their worst.
Common cliché but it’s something to keep in mind when things become difficult and the temptation to throw in the towel is like a big bowl of relief cereal. It’s impossible to avoid problems. Especially those that are out of your control. And there are a million things in this world that are out of our power. Makes you feel small and insignificant. Like what you do doesn’t really make a dent in the grand scheme of things. It can really suppress your perspective.
I was about to send a message sometime this week, to a friend who was just getting caught up in so many of those trying situations. Maybe you can’t find a decent job. Maybe your home life is falling apart. Maybe your relationship is getting too caught up in the little arguments. Maybe the lightness of your wallet is just getting too heavy for you. For whatever reason, not everything happens at once. You may be experiencing only one predicament at a time but all the others just follow for one reason only, you’re letting the first create a domino effect. Example, you lost your job so you are in a bad mood. You start snapping at your wife. She leaves. Your savings start to dwindle because you’re staying at home moping all the time. You get the picture. So the one uncontrollable problem just got the better of you. You lost everything else. And the only one to blame is you.
I drove home today with a very heavy mood. I found myself in a certain daze that it was amazing I got home in one piece. Then as I was driving past the intersection of Ayala and Edsa, this sampaguita vendor, a little kid came up to me. Initially I didn’t want to give anything…not because I didn’t want to but my stupid relatively insignificant problem made me feel selfish and uncaring of anything else. But then when I shrugged him off, I got a glimpse of his face and he had a really genuine smile. Not begging at all but he really looked happy to be going from car to car asking to buy his wares. It made me think about how so many people have such worse lives and yet they find more reasons to smile like that. And he was only a child who should have been playing in a park somewhere with friends. When I bought his sampaguita, he was just as jolly as can be and excitedly went on to the next car. It’s like he made it a game to enjoy…I guess he doesn’t get bogged down by silly trivialities. A trait I wish I could say I had.
I think it's getting to the point where I can be myself again.
It's getting to the point where we have almost made amends.
I think its' the getting to the point that's the hardest part
If you call I will answer
and if you fall I will pick you up
and if you court this disaster I"ll point you home
I'll point you home
You think I only think about you when we're both in the same room
I 'm only here to witness the remains of loving you
You think we're here to play a game of who loves more than who
call and answer by barenaked ladies |
| posted by maldita @ 8:29 AM
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| Monday, June 12, 2006 |
| mind trick. |
I liked today's quote...
If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Don't complain.
- Maya Angelou
And music always helps you switch to your mood-itude of preference...
this song always manages to pick me up...
If there's music in the night
And it's really, really right
It's the only thing I need
It intoxicates your mind
All your troubles left behind
So come on and take my lead
It’s not just me who feels it
Music plays a mind trick
Watch me forget about missing you
mind trick by jamie cullum |
| posted by maldita @ 8:46 AM
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| Monday, June 05, 2006 |
| you wanted more. |
Wikipedia defines:
Moral support is a way of giving support to a person or cause, or to one side in a conflict, without making any contribution beyond the emotional or psychological value of the encouragement.
Just wanted to extend my appreciation to everyone who is helping me out with my project. Thanks for taking the time to answer and also forward my survey. You've greatly helped me reach my deadline :)
Debbie, thanks also for the moral support and encouragement. You're right...life is basically about finding and grasping for what makes you happy. At the moment, I am torn on three separate sides - and am still trying to find a compromise where everyone would be happy, not just myself.
JB, thanks for keeping me company yesterday. It was nice to have that quiet support - you could just sit there and read comics while I got my work done. And i could get a hug or a smile at any time.
Wish there was that ideal place where friends would not complain that I have no time to go out and drink with them, relations won't make me feel guilty about not having a full time job at the moment, my finances would not be screaming for some sustenance blah blah blah. I wish there was a place where you would not have to hear how everyone is unhappy about your life. no matter how you try to please everybody. if you just miss me, then say so. I miss everyone terribly also. But don't express it by making me feel bad for being busy.
We had discussed how it would be so much easier if we were just rich, no daily duties, no need to work and everyone would be satisfied with all the free time you could give. But none of us were born with a spoiled silver spoon in their mouths. Instead we're raised with a sense of responsibility, and commitment. Not such a bad thing. But i'm getting a really bad headache from all the guilt on my shoulders. If only I could just suffer from bad hearing instead.
nevertheless, thanks to everyone who have given me their support and encourage my decisions - in their own ways - even by just not saying anything negative.
and on one of those rare days I get to kick back and unwind...
Happy birthday darling debbie!
with jb, norbs and monique
with my baby girl cristina
with my man and jp
you wanted more by tonic |
| posted by maldita @ 8:55 PM
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