:: musings of a misfit ::: you learn.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
you learn.
Place the key in the slot and rev up the engine. Nothing to lose. You're already at the bottom of the pit anyway. And you step hard on the gas. Just let it all go. Through the bushes, through that fence...suprisingly through that stone wall. And then you see it! there's a little light and you know you can make it. Just a little longer. a little piece of hope for something good in your life. A sputter...slows down...you've run out of gas. don't worry. It's just a short delay. Get a refill and be back on your way. If only the flicker holds out till you get there.

little story aside...there's something i've come to think about. When you're scared of getting hurt, the defensive response is usually to get mad or depressed about it. Sometimes you even leave or push people away just so they can't hurt you. And then you have another reason to put yourself down for the next couple of years. always the victim. but a very selfish one. I've been through this cycle so many times before. Only now have I actually thought about it. Instead of actually surrendering oneself to their own faults - such as proclaiming what a bad person you are - do somethin to change it. It will be a vicious cycle if you acknowledge something and change is not the solution you think of. Self-inflicted bruises do not make a saint, just a confused martyr.

instead of being immobilized feeling sorry for yourself...dust off the self-centered bullshit and change.

don't sit there by your car and cry or punch something out of frustration. well, maybe for a while you can. but don't linger. and don't give up. Just get off your ass and find some gas. The sooner you do something about it, the sooner your future will get better.

you learn by alanis morissette
posted by maldita @ 2:27 AM  
 
 

she had eyes like two turntables mix(h)er in between my dreams and reality blend in ancient themes the bas(e)is of isis cross-faded to ankh the beat drops like a cliff over looking my heart - Saul Williams


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