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| Sunday, May 21, 2006 |
| rollercoaster. |
and just like that, the ride brings you back down.
don't you wish security and confidence came in a pill form? whenever someone calls you fat or tells you insensitive things like you should do all that you can to stay pretty or else you'll lose your man, you could just pop it in and all that negativity just disappears. Remember when this guy once told me "you USED to be hot"?
I know everyone would say you shouldn't admit this...being insecure. But i don't care. This is how i damn feel. I don't know if it helps to tell your loved ones about it, or even complete strangers in this blog but what else am i to do. cry by myself after i look in the mirror? i know everyone feels insecure or that they don't measure up to their own standards somehow. Which is why i'm not afraid to admit it. Because you KNOW what i'm talking about.
Talked to the girls about it last week but even their encouragement and ego boosts couldn't snap me out of it. The "man of my dreams" also gives me so much reassurance but it's still not sinking into my stupid brain. The only thing i retain are the shitty things people say. I don't know what else to do short of getting major plastic surgery and sucking all the damn fat out of my body...or maybe i'm thinking it wrong. I don't feel like this all the time. Maybe what we need is a pill that would make all negative comments make you deaf once spoken. Then you won't be prone to their suggestions. That you need a new chin, a new nose, different hair, flat stomach blah blah. And that includes even the mean, critical voices inside your own head.
or maybe i should just shut up, never admit this (and burden) anyone with this again and HOPEFULLY it will just fade out into oblivion.
rollercoaster by everything but the girl |
posted by maldita @ 6:06 AM
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