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| Thursday, May 04, 2006 |
| do i need a reason |
is there really such a thing as unconditional love? we hear of it all the time from people who have been spurned by the objects of their affection. They feel it as true simply because they love these people regardless of whether they are loved back.
But i still always wondered about it.
Isn't it when we care about someone...we somehow expect them to return it? that's why we are so disappointed, sad or angry whenever it is not so. so it IS conditional. because of expectations. And if those expectations are not met, we reserve the right to react in a negative way.
My dad has this favorite motto about love: love does not alter when alteration finds. Yeah, he got that from Shakespear. At first i was just stunned to know that my dad actually read shakespeare but I he knows it so well that you'd think it was ingrained in his soul. probably. And whenever I was in a relationship he would ask me the same question: if your man changed, would you still love him?
Sometimes I said yes. Sometimes no .Sometimes maybe. But it gave me much to think about.
The dictionary defines Condition as: an assumption on which rests the validity or effect of something else.
Again this brings me back to my dad and his words of wisdom...before one of my cousins got married, he had a nice long talk with my dad for guidance. And my dad had this hilarious comment: your girlfriend looks like she has a tendency to get fat. You can see it in her body type. So ask yourself, would you still love her if she got fat? Well that made my cousin think it thoroughly. And when he decided that he still would, it helped him realize that he really did love her regardless of anything. And they got married. Wouldn't you know it, she got fat. hehe. And they would still be together if not for her and her wayward ways. I always knew my cousin loved her. But maybe my dad's question should have been asked of her as well. Would she love him regardless of anything that might change?
Another situation made me think of this question again. I asked a friend why she loved her boyfriend. Mainly because she just announced that they were engaged. And she said - i love him because he loves me. That brought a few shivers in me. Is it really just that simple? you only love those who love you? doesn't that sound wrong on so many levels?
Maybe it's just a question of semantics. being loved back is not a condition but a requirement. You can only imagine yourself with someone else if they love you back. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn't really care. Someone who doesn't share the same vision and dreams of the future...with you.
Recently an old boss of mine got in touch with me. She was updating her phone book and asked the usual questions: where do you work? are you married? blah blah. I told her I was with a very special man now and that I was very happy indeed. She then told me to think of three things, requirements if you may: he should share in your visions and dreams, he should take care of you ("super baby you" were her words) and you should really really love him.
Maybe that's all you need.
Today when I saw you
I knew it was just like the first time
When you met my eyes I came close
And I felt like the first time
Do I need a reason to tell you why
I'm singing you this song
Do I need a reason to show you that
I know where I belong
Whenever I am weary I lean on
this feeling that I have
I am so much stronger now
Thankful, yes I am
Today I'll renounce them,
the doubts and the fears I've been nursing
I'll fly like a moth to the flame
and I'll feel like the first time
To hold back my fear
and let you come near
I've never been this far before
To hold back my fear
and let you come near
I'm afraid of losing and still I go
do i need a reason by d'sound |
posted by maldita @ 6:45 PM
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