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| Sunday, March 12, 2006 |
| sooner or later. |
it can ruin a whole day. when you find out that people have purposely tried to bring you down. they want to destroy your good name. your reputation. your happy state. or relationship. Although faith and trust is something that is meant to be stable and sturdy...it still bothers me as to why.
Could it be that they don't have enough happening in their lives? jealousy? or they want to use you to prop themselves up? misery loves company. But why do you need to be that selfish? why not work on your own happiness, without having to destroy other's? it IS possible. If only they would realize that.
I can't even figure out if i'm mad or sad. Just full of tears as to how hateful some so-called human beings can be. I don't know if you realize how hard i've worked or how many things i've had to endure to find self-reliance. to find great friends. to find love and laughter. But you still want to grab that gun and point it straight to my face. and hit me with every ammunition your head can muster. i've stood my ground. I refuse to bow down to your level. and still you take your shots.
You know when my ex-bf left me for someone new, i was angry and bitter. who wouldn't be? i'm human. but i took it back. when everyone started taking pot-shots at him and his new gf. I defended them. I said that there are only two people in that relationship. And it isn't anyone else's place to say they shouldn't be together simply because society's norms frown on it. Especially since those who were talking did not even know either of them personally. If they get along then let them be. I did. I don't even know if he knows i did that out of the kindness of my heart but i still wanted to keep the peace. To apologize for whatever my sadness had caused initially. That time i realized that to forgive someone is the best way to let go.
I cried so hard when i heard the lies being told about me. In the past i've met them head on. I stand in front of them and their cowardice and demand that they tell me to my face. All those lies. But this time i'm not going to. I don't want to waste my time on them. Although even after a few days have passed, i still cry as hard. still don't know if out of anger or sadness.
But last sunday was better. I had reassuring messages from the girls - ria, pia and anna. from the guys - jv and sonny. Who know me very well and love me sincerely. Without even a miniscule amount of doubt that those demons are making everything up as they go. I even told my parents what i was going through out of anger i needed to vent out. But i also wanted to cry. Especially when my dad hugged me and told me i've been through enough in my life. I don't need this.
Someone once called me a tough cookie. Someone who took life by the horns and whenever i fell down i got back up again. Reinforcing some force field of lessons and harsh bruises to protect me from the next blow. But it's my loved ones who keep my center nice and mushy. The sweet core i'll always have with me.
Life can be full of conflicting characters. The antagonists and protagonists. The anti-thesis needs to exist for the premise to reflect its true value. For all that these evil beings have tried to do to break me...they can't. Because of my family who believe in me. My friends who rally beside me. My man who cares for me sincerely. And my sheer karmic belief that everyone gets what they deserve in the end.
Somethings you have to learn them all on your own
You can't rely on anybody else
Or the point of view of a source unknown
If it feels good and sounds nice
Then it's your choice don't doubt yourself
Don't even think twice
Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
You know they like it when you smile (Find a reason to smile)
Try not to focus on yourself
Share that love with someone else
Don't let the bitters bring you down (Down)
Don't let anything bring you down
sooner or later by michael tolcher |
posted by maldita @ 8:34 PM
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