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| Thursday, December 25, 2003 |
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As I walked home from Christmas mass I noticed a couple of things. Let’s get a few things straight first. I hear mass every Sunday with my family without fail at 10:30am in San Antonio. We always stand at the left side of the church. But during holidays, we prefer to walk to the Bel-Air park and stand instead at the back of the chairs where we have a clear view of the church and altar. This time, my brother and I stood while my parents and sister sat down at the last aisle. I prefer to stand actually. I seem to pay better attention at what’s going on or being said in the sermon than if I plopped on a pew. What was amusing was watching my dad. He was fidgeting. Aaah this is where I get my restlessness. He wasn’t used to sitting down either. I like watching my dad. He has these quirks that make him interesting to listen to or simply observe. And he’s full of surprises. Just like the smile he reserves for exceptional circumstances, it merits lingering until the event happens.
After mass, Erik and I decide to loiter around to catch some old acquaintances and a surreptitious cigarette. We agree to meet up later at the park bench which I have dubbed mine. My favorite bench. It has been witness to despondent separations, jovial reunions, enlightening conversation and my solitary confinement. This is where I go to either meet friends or simply drench in my own daydreams. I also venture here to notice niceties that seem mundane and yet capriciously provide the best canvas for my reflection.
That night was Christmas Eve. Everyone disperses from a single hub into a multitude of men setting out to enjoy the flavors of Noche Buena. As I sat there on the bench, several men were cleaning up the covered court that had, for only an hour, been a holy place. They were working hard to stack the chairs, sweep the floors and throw any inconsiderate litter. These people are working on Christmas Eve. They weren’t with their families. They probably couldn’t wait to finish the jobs and possibly get home in time for midnight to feast on what their wives had prepared. The most significant aspect here is time. This was the time when all families were supposed to enjoy together. Time is the most underestimated of luxuries. So easy to give yet taken for granted. Unless it is taken away. And every second that passes it IS taken away. Never to return.
As we walked home, I saw garbage men toiling over our cans and bags. I saw taxi drivers roaming the streets looking for passengers. I thought of the old man who unfailingly sells newspapers in the street facing my village gate every single day. He could have been there too. On Christmas, a day when everyone is grateful to have been given a savior that signifies our existence in this world…and people go on living the cards they were dealt. I feel so fortunate yet helpless.
The next day I made sure I gave everyone in my family a hug and told them that I loved them. It is really easy to do when you feel it burning in your heart. The time I have with them is just too valuable to take for granted. I am so lucky.
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posted by maldita @ 11:20 AM
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