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| Sunday, July 30, 2006 |
| wasted time. |
"your timing just sucks." i've been told.
i think my perspective also sucks. Hard to have when you're kind of a self-centered emotional wreck. I also have a daydreaming kind of mind. So it takes extra effort to focus.
so putting it all together: your mind tends to wander a lot so when you're given instructions, you drift and it doesn't register right away. So many things are overlooked, forgotten and you get shit for this. Then your perspective sucks because you don't see where the other person is coming from. And timing is always wrong because of this overwhelming desire to do everything at once. Nothing and no one is given its apt priority. And then they all just don't see what's the point and leave.
I've also been told that it's best to simplify. It's hard to do that without structure. Too many tasks and responsibilities in all aspects of my life that its all come crashing down. Needed to take this large breath just to get everything back into its proper point of view.
I used to think that I was a multi-tasker. I was arrogant enough to think that I could handle it all. Turns out I can't. Not with all these faults of mine working together at the same time. So my stable frame has been chopped down and i'm humbled to the state of Lost.
But it's time to start fresh. Instead of being reactive, it's my chance to be pro-active. I already know the problems. Within myself and with all the uncontrollable circumstances. But there's always a choice to make. I just have to make the right ones.
“You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions. Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions.” - Gary Ryan Blair
I'm sorry to say it had to take a catalyst such as this, to wake me out of my self-pity slumber. I have the choice to make things right. I have the choice to listen instead of cry. I have the reason to prioritize the once-in-a-lifetime chances. I realize that I've always had this choice to make things right. And i will.
"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little." - Edmund Burke
wasted time by the eagles |
posted by maldita @ 2:41 AM
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