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| Thursday, April 07, 2005 |
| silver lining. |
All things considered...last weekend was pretty enlightening.
I don't want to focus on negative shit anymore because life is so much better when you look at it through a less-cynical, less-defensive perspective.
I decided to meet my apprehensions head on with only my straightforward honesty to arm myself with. And so i've had to suffer the consequences. But i prefer to do so with solitary confinement, that is, up until i meet up with the friends at capones for a nightcap before heading home after work. But i'm digressing.
So last weekend I found out who was really there when the chips are down. Breaking down in capones for possibly the umpteenth time, and venting in an alcohol-induced state - i got the best comfort any girl would want and need. Disbelief in current status, offers to take me home, dancing partners, compliments on my new look...and all from people i see on occasion. No one even needed to hear the story or know who the guy was. All they knew was that i had value.
Friends need not be a crutch. Sometimes I am guilty of that but a reminder of support is sometimes needed to prop you up from a ditch made of quicksand. For instance, i received my celfone bill today and realized i've ran to my best guy friend in New York in fits of depression. He's the only one who understands me without even trying. he's the one who believes in me even when i don't. And if anyone puts malice into that, i'll deck you.
Even sunday showed a certain guy's sweet sincerity. I had woken up feeling liberated and free from the previous night's gutsy confrontation. But as the afternoon wore on, i weakened. I was just about to sleep it off when i got a phone call. I got my hugs. I got to let go of a few more pent up tears. And i got a great new friend who up until last february did not exist. I almost got flowers too apparently, but its my own fault for not showing up as planned the night before.
It's not love that works in mysterious ways...It's life itself. You sacrifice so much of your own happiness to support others. Then out of nowhere, you find that you can depend on some (quality not quantity) people as well.
Even my new job has given me great personalities to encounter every single day. This whole war room of women is like a big fun dorm with lots of food and laughter. They've taken it upon themselves to make sure i eat right everyday, cover my ass when the need arises, know where to buy cheap clothes, and assess any guy before things go any further.
I may be sad now but AS ALWAYS, you get over it. Everyone always does. And who wouldn't, if you've got friends like these. Debbie. Topsy. Miggy. Jay. Red. Tony. Jose. Niki. Sadrina. Sarah. Sonny. JV. Carlos. Lee. Donna. Chris. Anna. Nadj. Aries. Pia. To name a few... |
posted by maldita @ 5:08 AM
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