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| Monday, November 07, 2005 |
| tuesday afternoon. |
i still can't seem to get out of my reclusive rut from last week. i can't spend more than a few hours with friends without wanting to disappear. i'm tired all the time. i just want to stay home and sleep but when i do, i'm bored as hell. it's difficult to mix laziness and boredom together in the same soul.
i liked the deserted halloween weekend. some people threw "left behind" parties, others just had dvd marathons in their rooms. most often, i found myself walking through a quiet mall and ended up sharing a drink with mariel. i like starting and ending evenings early. it just makes more sense and leaves more strength for the next day. or so i think. on one of those evenings, mariel, cynthia and i had dinner in bollywood (my dinner consisting of a rum coke and cigarettes) - we discussed men (what did you expect?) but it wasn't the whole men-are-scum-for-breaking-our-hearts conversation. it was a hilarious one about how we can't seem to survive without them. and we came up with this play of words regarding what men are good for...
Dining out
Drinks
Driving
Dick.
tadaaaah! i'm sure we can come up with more but that last one just left us rolling in laughter till we finished off at Cena as soon as Alistair joined us. We tried to come up with a set of words for what women were good for but couldn't come up with anything much...all the words just came out boring and cheesy. men are more fun.heehee. and we love them.
Going back to a previous post where i said "with friends like these...who needs a boyfriend?" Well, my mom saw that post to which she replied that none of them could give her a grandchild. pffffft! and as usual, i had a ready retort. ok mom, why don't i sleep with all my sweet good-looking friends and then bahala na who actually gets me pregnant? it will be God's little secret. hahahahaha! that just left us cracking up at the absurdity of the suggestion.
I actually think my buds are what developed my picky mentality. they always want me around. they miss me when i'm gone. they would walk several meters out of their way to make sure i got to my car safe. they would pay double at the car park booth and instruct the attendant to let me go for free. they would treat me out to lunch or dinner even if they aren't obliged to. they would keep a peripheral vision of my handbag since i'm too sloshed to notice if someone stole it. they would volunteer to come over and fix my bass or my internet if i had any problems. they offer to hold any package i have in my hands. they want their families to meet and spend time with me. they always have time for me when i'm venting out in a desperate or depressed mood (and by the next day, all is forgotten and as always, i am better anyway). they know how to keep things light when need be. they don't overanalyze or judge me. they leave me alone when i want solace.
they continuously surprise me with ways to show me that i am a lady who deserves to be treated that way. and ironically, not all the men i've dated shows as much. i've got my standards pegged on so high that no one i've gone out with or committed to has shown as much.
dang it. i'm going to be 29 years old in a few hours.
i'm still drugged out on cough medicine. still figuring out my budget for tonight's festivities. still not sure what to wear. still fat. still not sure it will be a happy birthday. still not sure who would remember. still waiting for tito rolly to come over for today's bass lesson. still miss having my movie-fix every week. still feel displaced in my own little world.
Tuesday Afternoon by Moody Blues |
posted by maldita @ 8:56 PM
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