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| Tuesday, November 01, 2005 |
| insomnia. |
see what happens when you can't sleep, can't figure out what to do and then end up watching an old dvd that your good friend sadrina gave you, starring ben affleck and the always-entertaining-wit of jason lee...and now i've got to post the simultaneously self-depracating , pathetic AND self-absorbed speech that Holden gave in the drama-enfused rain - and suprisingly enough, he does get the girl. just not in the way you think.
I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know... I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.
this is something you wish some friend you've always had a crush on would say. but not the ones who you feel absolu-fucking-lutely no attraction for whatsoever. scary shit, man.
Oh and just googled Jason Mewes (aka Jay of Jay-and-Silent Bob) and he is hot without the hat! lookie-lookie...1 2 3 4
Insomnia by Faithless |
posted by maldita @ 6:09 AM
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