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| Friday, July 22, 2005 |
| live and learn. |
Jesus at the back door
Everything is alright
All we need is some direction
Everytime the wind blows
Everything you don’t know
Turns into a revelation
It all ends up inside your head
Time is wasted
- Set It Off by Audioslave
Some people thought I'd do a Jerry Maguire, goldfish and all. But as time passed I realized that this is the best thing. Like a burden that i voluntarily took upon my shoulders, all i gained was a bad back, too much stress, a lot of frustration and a sense of abandonment - a lesser woman would probably have gone deranged by now.
And now i'm happy to leave.
I already miss the GREAT people i've become such close friends with. Those who I spend each day laughing and talking to. Even those who I've just joked around with from time to time on the other side office - they've made me feel really appreciated for how nice I was to them and ALWAYS treated them like people instead of slaves to do everyone's bidding.
Better sooner than later.
I was starting to become the kind of manager I hate. The one who drives their team with fear instead of an inner sense of commitment and genuine care for the company and brand. I couldn't help it. And if I didn't realize it sooner, I might have continued to become a monster that would squeeze the life and luster from all those around them.
I told our GM this morning, along with my resignation letter, that from the start I was clear that I did not like sales. But they convinced me to try it. I did. And it didn't work out. No sense forcing the issue. I'm a square peg in a round hole. Everyone understands. But in all political correctness and diplomacy - I gave this my best effort and she acknowledged it. My intention was to leave that office giving her my gratitude and sense of ease that I still cared about this company even if I was leaving.
God has his reasons and I have complete faith in that. My friends and family have all rallied their support and I am SOOOO grateful. It's like the big pit hurting in my stomach two days ago has disappeared because I know that i'm meant for something else.
I'm leaving really nice people. Not all but most. I think that's worth more than the amount on your paycheck or how much sales you've earned. I now have a higher respect for those with sincere intentions than those with the best stats.
So i've said my goodbyes to everyone at the office. I've finished packing up my things and signing off on pending requirements. I've had several smoke breaks with my close friends who are still planning my despedida gimmick. I'm really sad that I won't be able to sneak down for a smoke break, getting a ranting winpop message, receiving text messages from BCs every evening, having lunch at EAT, reveling in shopping sessions and makeup breaks in between cubies.
I'm going to miss Luxasia. |
posted by maldita @ 12:28 AM
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