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Sunday, May 29, 2005 |
it's best to avoid any pretense of emotion |
i forgot how rain affected me. Last year, at this same time I was enjoying California sun and icy air. Surprisingly welcoming considering my unfamiliarity. So its been over two years since this annual downpour left me in solitary desire and intent. I'm left with no more excuses, maybe a more volatile personality and lack of direction. Displacement still wenched in my heart - very cold and uninviting.
I can somehow relate to this stupid enormous bug that's been whacking it's head on my ceiling. trapped by both the call of the light and it's own stupidity - not seeing the open door i've left wide open. But even that seems like an easier choice to make, if only i'd been born a bug.
I've got a busy week ahead...lots of paperwork, legwork, not to mention debbie's birthday party and sin city opening in theaters. if it were up to me, i'd take a week off from everything and everyone. just to watch old black and white films, finish reading my novels and organize my files. Having been stuck at home due to the flu this past weekend was just what i needed though. I got to relax and laugh with Erik regurgitating cartoons and other laugh lines. Oh and he lent me more graphic novels to consume while stuck in bed - Add Top 10 to my list of recommendations.
Gaaad. I miss having passion...for anything! |
posted by maldita @ 8:55 AM
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