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| Wednesday, November 10, 2004 |
| i think my neck is crunked |
been three days now and i've had a stiff neck. hard to sleep when the pain shoots down the back of your shoulder. It's a wonder i've even gotten my car around. Maybe it's the stress from driving too. i get really tense because i just started driving but so far so good.
i'm in a moral dilemma now about a certain person. has anyone noticed that as you get older, it's not the quantity but the quality of friends that's important? of course you have. And i've become averse to those people who i know don't really give a shit about me. not really anyway. It's not in the words but in the attitude. I think they're called emotional vampires who just suck you into their own drama or personal issues that drain you of your own strength and good nature. And obviously you try to avoid these bloodsuckers right? i'm in a very positive position now. I don't want to complain about everyday life which you may notice from my posts. I just want to laugh and keep things light or positive. There is always a silver-lined reason somewhere for even the worst experiences. But if you are surrounded by those who find fault in everything it is hard to stay optimistic. No matter what you say or do to help alleviate further damage, they don't listen. so you run, as fast and far away as you can.
one of my good friends from back in the time of moses (quote from marc) did just that. No matter how sweet she was during the good times, she was never around during the bad. And she also created the bad as well...without any respect or good faith one naturally gets from sincere friends. Taken for granted? that was an understatement. Any boy who showed up was given more trust and optimism than my years of loyalty. After about two years of this shit, I said fuck this. I don't need it. Who does? That should have left me jaded right? wrong. I now have the best friends ever.
Where am i going with all this? i don't know. i'm just writing it all out. personal dilemmas tend to make my thoughts run around at warp speed without any order or organization. Still thinking of what to do....In the words of Frank Sinatra - doobeedoobeedoooooooooo!
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posted by maldita @ 1:03 AM
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