| Tuesday, November 11, 2003 |
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it's a million little things.
i cannot stop watching my movies. take your pick: subject on pop culture, art films w POV realizations, old black & white classics, gore-filled thrillers, choreographed action, fantasy subdued with reality or historical references, animations, disney cartoons, even b-movie guilty pleasures. i always despised mushy love stories. One, you KNOW they'll end up together in the end. two, the formulas are just too fixed. three, i only like them when i'm in a relationship and can somehow find a parallelism. four, i may secretly wish the fabricated situations happened for real.
Take for example my favorite love story movies of all time: Love Affair, Someone Like You, About a Boy, High Fidelity, A Walk to Remember and How to Catch a Thief. They could be the cause of my fixation for bad men. in these stories, the characters are the least likely to be good to their women or loyal. but in the movies, they end up doing just that. Here you find the womanizers, the bums, the concieted rich kid, the man-already-attached.
But movies are my meditation. They help me to disconnect myself from the present-problem-inflicted world for even just an hour and a half. they relax my mind. they make me feel that anything is possible...and you don't even need to "just put your mind to it".
Ever wonder why you can't stop smoking either? it's my yoga trance. if one sees me as i smoke in my garden chair, you will see me in a variety of poses. one harder than the next. my legs just find their own place in every inch of my patio set. if my toe can hook on the little holes in the chair backing, and my whole leg can be supported by that toe i would probably have done that already. but give me time.
plus my mind wanders. I don't even need alcohol. I just detach from my body (which explains all the different positions i make) and contemplation begins. i wrote my best (and only) short story here.
everything that's happened. everything i wish for.
a million little things that make me whole. |
posted by maldita @ 7:52 AM
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