 |
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 |
| walk on me. |
my brother once pointed out that i am a compulsive planner. it used to be years ahead, as with a career choice. Then i attempted to plan only months at a time, such as with a vacation trip. Then whittle it down to a week, for weekend parties or gigs. Finally i've relegated myself to plan a day at a time - but even THAT seems too much to ask nowadays.
I always enjoyed the control. The order...But now I can't. I just can't tolerate the disappointment anymore.
Maybe it's because of fear. That it won't push through. No one appreciates your effort. Murphy's law, and it's been happening way too often in the recent three months. It's insane how pissed I get when people ask me to plan an evening and then whine after. Or worse, ignore it completely. (probably waiting for their recent boy for his own plans before coordinating theirs. girls know this is true...the reactive and not active decision making process. so irritating isn't it?)
I abhor being predictable but actually relished being dependable. I think i've given up on that also. Go call someone else to save you from a night of boredom. What's the point of being relied on when you can't depend on others at your own time of need anyway.
So I stopped planning. Sometimes you just want to be the one invited.
Geez. got a lot of bitch posts lately. imagine those that I stopped myself from publishing.
walk on me by ben kweller |
posted by maldita @ 10:21 PM
 |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
