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| Monday, August 29, 2005 |
| every little thing |
Materialism isn’t what you initially think it is. It’s not being necessarily attached to objects as a sign of wealth or pride. I noticed that how material things are possessed is a better indicator of intention and affection.
Ever notice that when someone lends you something, it’s not just out of the kindness of their hearts but also because they don’t see an end to your relationship? They know that they’ll see you again. They know that in some distant point in the future, you will still be friends or lovers that you will have a future opportunity to return them. Because if you didn’t, why lend it in the first place? If there was doubt that they would not see you or the lent object again, it would not be released from their hands at all.
Or what about gifts given? It’s a sign that they know what you want, and are capable and willing to give it. But it’s also a sharing of themselves. The effort of selecting, purchasing it and offering it to you is an investment of their time and energy. All to make you happy. But. You don’t know if the recipient necessarily wants to obtain that any outlay from you. That’s another story.
It’s hard to find out if someone returns your fervor. All we are really sure of is how we ourselves feel. So it’s only natural that we know what we want to give and who we want to give it to. But not all gifts are well received. Like men know that women like receiving flowers. Very true. But many men can attest that although they have given these flowers, even the most beautiful and rare, are also often rejected. They like the flowers but do not welcome the part of you that comes with it.
I once received a bouquet of flowers of the prettiest pink. They were gorgeous. I received them two days after our first date. And the note simply said he wished me a good week. It’s really sweet if you look at it from a third person point of view. But it had freaked me out. I thought it was too much too soon. Not that he had done anything wrong. How was he to know that I did not welcome the part of him that came with the gift? I never returned his calls after my immediate thank you text message. No reason to keep him wanting when there was nothing.
And what about those things you buy together? Those are common trinkets that you have agreed to share, kind of like the commitment you have both attested to. Another friend had gone on a shopping trip with his then girlfriend to buy a puppy. But after breaking up with her, all he missed was the pup and the effort he made to take care of it. So sometimes the sentiment of each item is what is left. But the person you share it with is not. He finally told her to stop asking for alimony every time the little tyke got sick. He resolved to move on and let her move on as well.
Sometimes words and actions are not enough. The best things in life are not things. But things can be ciphers of what is unspoken and undemonstrated for the introverted heart. I don’t care if the man I like won’t give me any flowers or any pricey gifts. If he gave me small notes on tissue paper each day I’d still adore him. The significance for me is the consistency of his ardor. It’s the notion that he thought of me at least once for the past 24 hours.
Every Little Thing by Dishwalla |
posted by maldita @ 9:01 PM
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