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| Tuesday, March 16, 2004 |
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Resurrect my somnolent soul. Do you have any idea how your words make my heart prance and turn in its grave? I try to ignore its calls to be nurtured and evoke my inner passion. My need for self-preservation hinders any inkling and strengthens my resolve. It could be due to my fright and protective shell but it assists the evasion of past to present wounds. I will not fall in love again though the sensation of flying transcends me to routes of innumerable possibilities. I am breathless. You consume my mind for hours and days on end. I pray for the day when you do not bring me this cynicism and the tears.
I thought you knew me. But now I reinforce my tenacity that no one will really be able to know or handle me. I give up the hope of ever being with you or anyone. Just like in the internal story within Love Actually wherein Andrew Lincoln's character, Mark is in love with his best friend's new wife played by Keira Knightley. but doesn't say a word. There is a possibility I would end up that way. Satisfied with status quo. Unconditional and content even if I can't ever be with you, talk to you, see you. I reached this point wherein I only admit this in my blog. I refuse to even speak your name to any friend or folly. In the waking world you do not exist. But I reminisce and concede my defeat in my dreamworld. |
posted by maldita @ 5:40 AM
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