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| Sunday, October 26, 2003 |
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remember when i said i want to be in love? well...
i am in love with the deliberate bastard. I am just so stimulated by our conversations and how open we have become with each other. A lot has happened over the week and weekend. And i just revel at the thought that we talk at least once a day or he'll send me a text message with the term of endearment: sweety.
we had a discussion today about how we feel about each other. come clean, as one would say. it actually started a few days ago. confessions...of dangerous minds with risky situations. but as we also talked about...one cannot live on hypotheticals. it would work if this "thing" wasn't there...or the fact that...blah blah. If only we lived in a hypothetical world. But reality has more to say, and let's face it. we have to live in it.
so like in the past loves that i have had...maybe this is just the wrong time.
you know what's great about this relationship? what is stimulating is the mind. our minds put together. it's such a different plane: the mental, the emotional and the artistic. the physical is not even the first aspect of attraction. though the tension is there.
change topic. last friday was nice. i went to the wedding of tina and john-d. one of my perfect specimens of true love. the one that has "marriage" written all over it. I am so happy for them. I still feel bad that ane was not able to join us although we only stayed for a few hours.
here's a pic. thanks to tammy's blog for the link
me, macky, trika and gue
I then went to Capones for the opening to meet up with Debbie (after a well-deserved vacation in Hawaii), Chris and Waxie. Aside from them, i hung out with Macky, Gue, Begre, Ed, Martin, Topsy etc. even saw old friends like Nicole. Overtone played with inebriated Ed and Jay closing the performance. later on, amidst alot of old 80s heavy metal and rock, we were just playing air guitar and singing our hearts out.
In between this, was the "confession". i don't know if it was because we were both drunk but i don't think so. Still suffering from a bout of confusion, i went out again saturday night to meet up with the same group of buddies. we were really planning a cool night in Nuvo but ended up watching Velcro play in Aposento. We just wanted a chill out night but by the time a few friends dragged us back to Capones, us chicks were just dancing like madmen. Hiphop night. I even bumped into my ex, miguel who was in for the night all the way from GenSan. It was great drinking and catching up although we talk on the phone every so often. he's pretty much in tune with what's happening in my life, even my loves.
here's my last words for the deliberate bastard: you know why i love you? because i like the person i am when i'm with you. even if we can't commit, just being with you in my life makes me feel satisfied. maybe you'll never understand why i can say i love you but i can't be your girl...but all these words are true. |
posted by maldita @ 7:51 AM
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