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| Wednesday, December 01, 2004 |
| Batter up ! |
Where did the term “player” come from? It came from the game. And what is the game all about? The game is all about making sure the ego is happy. If you get caught in this trap of just padding your ego where either a quantity or a select quality of people become attracted to you then you may call yourself a player. And what you see is what you get. I remember writing about a similar topic a year ago.
Most of us would cringe at the thought of being labeled a player. Society shuns it as if it were the stamp of poison. But how many of us are guilty of it? Let me set the stage. You find someone attractive. You flirt and try to start a conversation. But after a few minutes (or even a few days or dates) you either feel chemistry or not. If you continue the act of attracting them with tried and tested gestures even with this factoid screaming in your head then you are playing the game. Congratulations! And with the ease of a veteran in the field.
I’m not being hypocritical and saying all these pinch-hitters are stinkers. Hell, we’ve all been guilty of the same acts. So we are all players at several points in time. But I thought of writing this to put things in perspective before you call the next man (or woman) who hurts you a jerk. They could be, but they could have also not been aware of it. Knowledge is rulebook. Play with the other players. If you are searching for something more substantial then simply stay in the bleachers. Damn, how many baseball terms am I going to use? Haha.
Before you label the next competitive participant a supposedly derogatory term, remember that the ego is a natural element in one’s existence. We need a good nudge in the optimistic direction of relative attraction from time to time. What sets one apart from a destructive relationship is the lack of awareness. If you are consciously using another person for egotistical betterment with full knowledge that they do not share the same sentiment then it is a cognizant infliction of pain.
I have been asked how you avoid such sucker situations. Problem is, you can’t. What helps is that you are sentient enough to know yourself, get to know the other better and know when to stop. You aren’t a sucker if you walk away, you’re a sucker if you know and yet still stay.
To quote one of my favorite movies of all time – The Tender Trap starring Frank Sinatra:
Joe: I don’t get it. Anything this guy does is okay with you. Why do you let him shove you around? You’re a beautiful woman, you’re intelligent, you’re everything a man dreams about. Why do you stand for it?
Sylvia (to Charlie): Go after her, Charlie. Don’t settle for second best. I know one thing, there’ll be no second best for me anymore. I will find me an honest-to-goodness guy who’s looking for an honest-to-goodness girl. Somewhere in this great city there must be one.
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posted by maldita @ 6:08 PM
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