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| Thursday, October 21, 2004 |
| history or my-story? |
Have you ever noticed how much people emulate others? We’re familiar with how we idolize or admire others and try to adapt as if we could share in the same spotlight within the conscious picture. But try to look into the pieces that make up your life. Are you interested in poetry? Certain types of books? Movies? Then try to trace back – when and why? My guess is it was probably some partner or friend that enhanced that fascination you call your own. So what is truly our passions and not some feeble attempt to develop a connection with someone we love?
This has been my introspective goal the past few months. Sure, I agree that you need to try several things to find out what we truly want and like. Gain perspective then make our own choice. But I’ve encountered so many people who just latch on to another’s fancy, blinded by their attraction. I am guilty of that too. It is most likely the reason why my dad calls me a jill of all trades, master of none. I can trace so many of my facets to a past boyfriend.
My imood setting has been set at FREE for a while now. Why? Because I am now at the path of least resistance, where I have no influences. No microscopic attractions. As marc said, time to live in the here and now. I had dinner and drinks with an old friend last week. We reminisced at how long we’ve actually known each other – six years. And yet he really didn’t know me. He saw only that I could hold a drink and my own in a parade of strangers. My degrees of conversation could span from the shallow to serious with a flick of an lighter. But he was not aware of my domestic capabilities or my philanthropic aspirations. Some friends even perceive me to be the career-driven-woman-of-the-world. Without any idea that I thoroughly enjoy making hospital corners when I fix my bed, cook dinner, or color-coding my files and documents.
So far I’ve only identified a few activities that shall remain from my development over the past twenty-seven years. None have been affected by anyone in my past. Here are a few of those things that you probably didn’t know about me.
1. Cooking – the first thing I ever learned to do at age seven was how to cook a fried egg. Since then I’ve baked cookies and cakes, cooked five-course dinners and slaved over the chopping board for the ones I love.
2. Art – With a medium barrage of pencil, charcoal, pastel, oil, watercolor, pen&ink and now the ever-popular software instruments, I’ve only created works as gifts and gestures of gratitude. I don’t vie to have another exhibit anymore because the price of my illustrations and designs are within the personal reasons behind each one.
3. Sewing – When I was in high school, I didn’t have enough allowance to buy clothes for parties. So what did I do? I made my own clothes. My mom surrendered the huge Singer to my room and I cut out patterns for various beaded blouses and laced-up tops. There was one time a guy called me to ask if he could pick me up early and I said I was still hemming my skirt. I got 2 minutes of shocked silence.
4. Gardening – I want a rose garden. Pots and bushes filled with flowers that bloom a yellow rose every few weeks. I once trekked up to Tagaytay to the flower farms and filled the back of a pick-up truck with these. Then I went to Sucat to buy a sack of soil to replant the seedlings as they grew. I sat in the garden clipping the leaves and picking out bugs. They flourished for a few months until the summer sun broiled them to oblivion. I still want that garden.
5. Community – My drive to succeed and work hard to support myself is only the strategy. The objective is to make enough to provide for others who need it more. If there’s one thing I cannot resist, it’s the old woman knocking on my car window. I think that the aged are the most ignored, and the ones who ask for the least. They aren’t as adorable as the babies crying in the orphanage who still have a chance. And when you think about it, all they want is someone to talk to.
Just thought I’d share that. |
posted by maldita @ 10:10 AM
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