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| Tuesday, January 13, 2004 |
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When do you commit to a formal relationship? The question plagues most people lost in the antiquity of affection. Even if you have defined it, how does one explain open partnerships and open marriages? I guess the meaning is variable and capricious.
In my younger years, the definition would be when I didn?t want to go out or spend time with anyone else but one person. Things were much simpler then. And full of inaccuracy. But a point was brought out to me tonight. What about when you are attracted and smitten by a whole person? Not just the great rapport, the enigmatic stares, the physical beauty or the unexplainable way he or she can finish your sentences for you. But the whole thing. The yin and the yang. The light and dark side. I still take everything with a grain of salt, a pound of flesh and without rose-colored glasses. Pessimist. Jaded.
Ever heard of the SATURN RETURN? It usually occurs when you are around 28 years old. You feel stymied and stuck at life's spinning cycles. This is called such because every 28 years, Saturn returns to its original position in your natal chart. So that explains everything right? Well, maybe not but it?s an easy recluse from the confusion.
I recall talking to a 28 year old woman at a dinner party. I was around 22 at that time. I asked her if she felt pressured to get married. Most women perceive 27 to be the ideal marrying age. Yes, I'm 27 but do not generalize me. Anyway she said around 27 she did feel the push, externally and internally. Then when she hit 28 bam! It didn't even matter. It's like she was reborn and focused on her personal expansion. Marriage was not even in her books anymore. Maybe it was the Saturn return.
I actually see a lot of people who can vouch for this belief. My mom was skeptical when i discussed it a bit with her then remembered this was around the time she decided to take her MBA...hmmm...
Over coffee tonight, Martin was the one who brought up the term. Which aroused my curiousity and thus resurrected my adoration for the Google search engine. Where would we be without it? Less informed, I suppose. Back to my story. He describes it as like a little ball. Wherein different layers are added on since you were born then all of a sudden you start peeling them off with only the most simple and valuable remaining. The layers are like friends, beliefs, norms, habits, perceptions and limitations. And as all such separations are, when you take off a layer it could sting and hurt. You are left open like a fresh wound that is more sensitive and vulnerable. But growth always comes after a difficult experience right?
Which brings me back to my forever mentioned plan. I once described moving to another country as something very challenging. I also used the analogy of a ball wherein you have to break it up and as it scatters can you rebuild it into an even bigger whole. I like Martin's use of the ball better.
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posted by maldita @ 8:22 AM
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