 |
| Monday, December 08, 2003 |
|
Quote Garfield: I hate Mondays.
Quote Rob Gordon (John Cusack) in High Fidelity: Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
I think it was good that the cable connection of our new flatscreen tv was on the blink so I ended up watching my dvd of High Fidelity. I just answered the question why some people keep coming back into your life like some bad rerun. Heaven forbid that you think its because they’re your damn soulmate or the universe has instinctively brought you together for some mundane romantic reason. Use your brain. It’s because of unfinished business. The operative fragment being “finished”…you need to finish things and once you’ve done that then you move on.
My advice to the a man who shall remain nameless as of today…
Quote from Rob Gordon: I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.
Something so palpable revealed itself to me yesterday. Clear as day, or even more apt, it was clear as the night sky. I was thinking about it as my friends and I were nursing our last rum cokes and glaring up at the sky from Capone’s balcony. I can just hear my first ex-boyfriend lecturing me on using my head instead of my heart in affairs such as this. He couldn’t stop exclaiming in disbelief at how I didn’t distinguish a recent ill-fated relationship earlier than two years. The recent one took me six months to realize and now this one has taken me only two months. Maybe I’m getting better at this ha ha.
Anyway, Rob Gordon’s soliloquy elaborates that he had to go backwards in time to understand his failed relationship. Like an old Bruce Springsteen song. I didn’t even have to go back in time. For the past 8 months they have all come back to me. I think I have come across around 5 what ifs and maybes. Some I wanted to kick myself about like: “what the hell was I thinking?!” or “hey, we really don’t connect” or “been there done that, NEXT please!” So after all this what the hell is left? I am tired. So many friends advised me to take a breather and stop dating madmen and bastards. But disregarded them all then. Now I can say…I gave it all a shot and now I’m just breathing a sigh of relief. I have no remnants of them that I can’t chalk up to experience.
I actually was supposed to have a date last Saturday with a really nice guy. I made it into a semi-date by going out with friends and told him to meet up with us later. See, I finally constituted that a date is only a date when he picks you up, pays for everything and brings you home. Of course there are disparities if you both know you’re friends and he just gratuitously paid for your drink or dinner. So things worked out great and we’re supposed to have dinner this week. But I have a speech planned. If he wants to be friends, that’s all I can muster up right now. It’s all I’m really capable of at the moment. And I’m just essentially excited to take the job in UK next year. I don’t want him to be another transitional guy - he’s been so sweet and nice – His efforts don’t warrant that.
Barry (Jack Black): Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the 80s and 90s? Go...sub-question...is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?
The storm occurred last night. After the art exhibit activity for CIE class yesterday at around 8pm. I was sobbing almost hysterically on the dark isolated steps near the dorm lobby. Everyone was passing by oblivious to my despair. But Alex detected me and sat down in absolute silence. When I composed myself I told him what I was going through. Later on, as he looked at the artworks that I had exhibited, he said something to this effect – how can people see only one facet of you when this shows otherwise? Last night was the first time I showed my art to others except my closest friends and boyfriends. Maybe because it reveals a lot about what I’ve gone through and who I am. Parts of my soul. If you haven’t seen them yet, I don’t think you’re worth it then.
And so I end with this quote from the man himself:
…”Have you got any soul?” a woman asks the next afternoon. That depends, I feel like saying; some days yes, some days no. A few days ago I was right out; not I’ve got loads, too much, more than I can handle. I wish I could spread it a bit more evenly, I want to tell her, get a better balance, but I can’t seem to get it sorted. I can see she wouldn’t be interested in my internal stock control problems though, so I simply point to where I keep the soul I have, right by the exit, just next to the blues. - Nick Hornby, “High Fidelity”, In Music
|
posted by maldita @ 9:15 PM
 |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
