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| Sunday, February 15, 2004 |
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I am not in the mood to write. I have gotten countless verbal comments from friends such as that I only write when I am down or tapping into my dark side, how come I always have blind items on this blog, am I not scared of jotting down my deepest darkest secrets for the whole world to see - none of this bothers me. But I am just at a loss for words at the moment. No thought provocation that moves me to scream from the rooftops. or release with reckless abandon...in words.
And yet I am at an all time high of 52 average daily visits. Wow! When I started writing here I never went farther than 18. And inexplicably ranging from the west and east coast. Manila will always be the greatest source of web surfers interested in my escapades or rantings, except for one day in October when the East Coast zone gained an exceptional leap over my fellow islanders.
I have been toying with different entries, that shall remain unpublished in the chronicles of my computer folder. Ranging from the filipina inimitability, my preference for the filipino male, the proliferation of boob jobs and my infatuation with Matthew Goode's brit bod. Not that I am apprehensive to reveal these thoughts but more because I think my writing sucks. Haha. Eloquent I am not. Ask any friend who has listened to my 24-hour mouth that refuses to shut down so as to cater to fellow nightcrawlers, drunken masters and smoking pariahs.
Well anyway, I am currently sitting here in the recluse called the AIM Zen Garden where the sun refuses to let me go. Every day I sit here it props itself to shine on me and me alone. No matter which bench I choose, the god Ra apparently thinks I am a sole sunflower needing his heat and glare. Haven't I mentioned before that I am made of fire? Intense and insane? That explains why I still sit here. Or maybe its just my need to have that cigarette while typing away. Yes, I have tried to change benches as soon as the sun sets its sights on me, and just like magic - it follows. I am not joking or putting you on. Some classmates and I have tried this a number of times...never fails. Maybe he loves me. Or is just insanely attracted to fellow fire-breathers.
Got a message from my friend Ryan this morning. Wants me to meet up this week to introduce me to this guy from New York. As usual, I expressed my apprehension to date at this transitional point of no return. But it seems that fate is a reckon to deal with. No matter what measures I take to avoid these trying situations, it manages to lure me into situations I have sworn to repel from. Wanna bet during some gathering of friends this week, ryan and his friend will somehow be at the same place at the same time or something to that effect. I am doomed to be a hamster in a rotating wheel. Maybe my destiny in this spatial plane is to be a poster child for dating. I could put up an advice column haha! Which is easier to give than to abide.
Not in the mood to write my ass. haha. |
posted by maldita @ 11:37 PM
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